Blues Harp

[Khandro]

So he said to me, "Do you have a sister who plays the mouth organ? "
and I said, "You must mean our Monica".

[stuey]

Your title to the thread reminds me of a very long joke to which the punch-line is "I left my harp in Sam Clams disco." sang to the melody of a Sinatra hit.

[marval]

lol

This one Stuey?

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good.
Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together.

Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell.

Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said, "Larry, you know you are the nicest clam we ever had up here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed.

Tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help."

Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do everything together and I really miss him a lot."

St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what, I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day. How would that sound?"

This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and they were off. You see in Hell Sam owned a disco. The spent the day there together and had a great time.

At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry Lobster, didn't you forget something?"

Larry looked around and said, "No, I don't think so I have my halo and my wings."

St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?" Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco."

[Chipchopper]

My old Dad used to tell us that one and if I remember right, it was a mouse asking for a mouse organ in a shop, in his version.

[marval]

Yes, it is in the version I know Chipchopper.

[stuey]

That's the one, Marval; I told you it was long:)

[marval]

Yes it is long Stuey.

[stuey]

Years ago, a friend and myself perfected a routine in which we would alternate telling parts of the story, following on from each other without a pause, and then both break out at the end singing the punch line to the tune of "I Left My Heart In San Fransisco."!

[Khandro]

marval; It sounds like one of those stories made up by Frank Muir and Dennis Norden; http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/myword/
I still remember a few (does anyone else?) most notably his "She stoops to conquer".

[Jackdaw33]

The one I remember is, "They passed over, and the trumpets sounded on the other side". After along convoluted tale about two young men trying to get to France in search of sexual adventure, Frank Muir finished with, "They passed Dover, and the strumpets undid on the other side"

[Hopkirk]

Can you still buy Harp lager?

I hope not, it was awful.

[marval]

I used to love the Frank Muir and Dennis Norden stories, they were very clever.

[Jackdaw33]

I also remember that the Pirates of Penzance ended up as the Pie Rates of Ben's Aunts. Classic shaggy dog stories, much missed.

[marval]

Like this one Jackdaw.

William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, "Big Bill" was petitioned by the citizens of his town because the three bakeries in the town had, during the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that only the rich could afford them.

Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly, he turned to his aunts and asked their advice. But when they had heard the story, the two old ladies were so incensed over the situation that they offered to bake 100 pies themselves, and sell them for 2 cents lower that any of the bakeries were charging.

It was a roaring success. Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon, they had managed to bring down the price of all kinds of pastry in Philadelphia.

In fact, even to this very day, their achievements are remembered as the remarkable Pie rates of Penn's aunts.

[Jackdaw33]

Not quite the one I had in mind but very similar.

[Khandro]

The one I refer to above was, as usual, long and convoluted by Frank - (moustached and bow-tied). It involved a man called George Stopes who worked in the BBC radio sound effects dept. All the sounds were kept on short bits of tape, one of which was for background farmyard sounds of pigs, and was marked the 'Oinka' tape.
One day George needed the tape for something he was doing in another part of the building, he took the tape and so his colleague would know where it was, he left a note which read 'G.Stopes took Oinka'.