Not Sure What To Do Next

[jonah hart]

My 20 year old son as suffered with mental health issues for a number of years, to cut a long story short, he's had amazing help and on medication.
Last year he moved in with his girlfriend, we still had some hard times but he seemed happier.
Last week she kicked him out.
He's been down but seemed ok, they were still talking and he hoped it was a temporary split.
However we've found out today that when he's said he was going to visit her, he hasn't been.
Although we have a close relationship, he refuses to talk about anything.
When I try he shuts me down, i don't preserve because I know it'll lead to him either kicking of, or leaving the house for hours on end.
I am worried he's maybe doing drugs.
I'm constantly on edge all the time, i just don't know how to deal with him.
Don't get me wrong, he is such a good lad, he just holds his feelings in.
He as a therapist but he doesn't really open up to her.
Is anyone else going through anything similar and can offer any advice please?

[andy-hughes]

I truly sympathise - mental illness is often as hard on relatives and friends as it is on the sufferer.

All you can do is reassure him that you are there to listen and help if he needs you, and then hope he takes you up on it.

There is really little else you can do.

He may be simply spending time alone because he needs that, but maybe you could gently ask him just to let you know he is OK - a call or a text.

Part of Depression, which I assume this is, do correct me if I am wrong - is a seriously large dose of self-loathing, and the belief that you are not worth liking, much less loving. To have that potentially underlined - even for what may be entirely valid reasons - can make the situation worse.

You are obviously a wonderful caring and supporting parent, and he is lucky to have you, and I am sure in his lucid times he knows, that, even if his illness prevents him from showing his appreciation.

Hopefully things will improve, do stay in touch on here, there are a lot of sympathetic and understanding people to support you.

[jonah hart]

Andy thankyou for your lovely kind words.
He as psychosis but you're exactly right, he is so down on his self and does suffer with depression.
He does go out on long walks to clear his head, it's his time out.
It's just normally he'll just say "I'm of up woods"
So I worry that he's lying where he's going now.
I do casually pop in "how you doing" but if i ask too much he gets mad, or he'll say "stop asking"
I've got to be so careful and really have to think before I say anything.
I'm going to try and have a casual chat when he gets in.
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply, it's really appreciated