First One Without Mum

[queenofmean]

Well that was my first Christmas without mum and gran.

It was strange to say the least but I think a pleasant day was had by dad and I. OH spent the day with us and I went back to his after our meal that was the bit I found hard - leaving Dad. He wanted me to go and I was happy to have stayed home but he said he would be OK and to have a nice time, which I did. I had an amazing time with OH and his family. Even had a Boxing Day lunch watching one of mum's favourite films, so it wasn't too bad as I first thought and she was never far from my thoughts.

Just need to get past next January and see what 2017 has in store for me.

[jourdain2]

Well done, QoM. It is very hard at first. I changed everything and that helped. I would recommend doing something very different from what you usually do for NY Eve. We'll all find out about 2017 as we go. Courage! :)xx

[marval]

Well done for managing that queenie, your Mum and gran would have been proud of you.

It is always difficult the first Christmas without a loved one.

Here's hoping 2017 is a good year for you all.

[Caran]

Well done queenie. The first is always the worst. Hope your new year is better.

[Cloverjo]

Yes, I know how difficult that first Christmas is. I'm glad you all got through it ok.

[paddywak]

It's hard Queenie, my Mum passed on the 23rd December 30 years ago and it was the worst christmas ever and though you never forget it does get better and after a while you'll only remember the happy times.

[Mamyalynne]

The time after a bereavement is full of 'firsts' and somehow we make it through - always remembering them as we do. ♥

[tonyav]

I know it must be tough, queenie. But well done you for getting through two difficult days.

[queenofmean]

Thank you Jourdain - I don't like New Year neither did mum if I am honest. I usually just sit and watch a film. But will see what OH wants to do as dad is working sadly.

I hope the New Year is way better. My health and life I guess has been put through the ringer and I've decided I want out and I have taken steps to change it so I look forward to getting them done!

Thank you too Marval and Caran. She would have been proud I cooked a Christmas lunch without yelling the odds about this going wrong and that won't work.

[queenofmean]

Thank you all for your kind words.

I look forward to making new memories with dad and OH and his family, will all fall into place in due course I guess, just need to continue taking each day at a time.

[anneasquith]

First one is the worst, I hope dad is OK , must have been dreadful for him.

[queenofmean]

He seems fine Anne, I do regularly ask him how he is and I asked before I left how he was and he said while it was hard and strange but that he was good. I love him very much and I'm starting to learn to let him go to work and not have to call him several times a day or call when he's 5 minutes late home from work.

[Ann]

Well done Queenie, I knew you would find the strength .... but even though this is my third Christmas without Mum she was never far from my thoughts all day. You will always keep those precious memories of Christmasses past. All the best for 2017 xx

[queenofmean]

Thank you Ann, I lit a candle and had it burning all day for mum and others who have passed away. I plan to do this each year though. It was hard but I've come so far and I know I can keep going just needs time xx

[murraymints]

I have been through all the firsts now ..still difficult but somehow a tad less painful...as it will be for you too Queenie xx

[DTCwordfan]

well done queenie, the first steps are always the hardest...all the best for the coming year.

xx

[queenofmean]

Thank you Minty and DT.

Things will get better I know they will. Minty we will get through...we are two of the strongest people I know.

[jambutty]

Also my first without Mum and my first without Mum and Dad together and it was as horrid as I knew it would be. Don't think next year will be much better either. Had lunch with a dear friend, but it was hard and I had to try VERY hard not to cry and spoil her Christmas. I used to love Christmas too.

[queenofmean]

Aww jambutty I'm so sorry to hear that.

As one Aber and a close friend said to me don't hold back the tears. If you need to cry then do it. Don't worry about what other people will think - if they are a true friend and have seen what you've been through they will understand.

I do hope that you will come through and find some strength again and that Christmas will become a little easier. Remember we are all here for you too

Much love, Queenie x

[jambutty]

Thank you Queenie. This friend has seen me cry a lot, so I wanted to make an effort for her on Christmas day, and also her brother who was there. I have my 'year of firsts' to come, I only lost my lovely Mum in September. I've never known pain like this in all my life.

Thank you again for your kind words x