Nursery worries

[scotty]

Hello can anyone help withthe following- I am due to put my little girl who wil be 3 into a local nursery in septmber. Whilst I was visiting I witnessed something that raised some very minor issues with me. I wont bore you with the details of the incident but it was absolutely nothing to do with safety and more to do with attitudes. It has left me feeling a little concerned and apart from waiting outside school to quiz parents I am at a loss as to how I can get anysort of feedback from parents as to how they and there children get on at this nursery. I do have other options but for many reasons this is the best all round choice. It meets all the offstead requirements, has a low turnover of staff and has been in business for 15 years. Can anyone suggest how I would go about gaining some information? Seems like a really big deal to me at the moment, it very probably isn't but my little girl is too important to me to get this wrong. Thank you all. Scottys Wife

[B00]

Hiya.

I fully understand how worried you may be over this. Obviously as I dont know what it is you're concerned about- it makes replying to your post a bit difficult!

But...my suggestion would be to talk directly to the headteacher- i'm sure they'd rather you voiced your concerns to them than to pounce on unsuspecting mums.

Good luck :-)

[noxlumos]

I think it's wholly appropriate to grill other parents at the gate, you'll get the most truthful feedback that way and no-one will mind in the least. As you say, your kids are too precious to get things wrong.Whatever is concerning you will only dog you when she's there if you don't get a clear idea in your mind about it now so go ahead, grill away.

[miffy63]

Hi

I agree with Boo, talk to the head teacher. I went through agonies when it came to my 3yr old going to nursery school, I tried to find some reason why I shouldn't do it but in the end it was the best thing all round. I'm not suggesting that you're the same 'neurotic', over protective mother that I was but it's easy to find fault when you want to! Please talk to the head teacher and tell her ALL your concerns and she'll hopefully will put your mind at rest. Good luck and try not to worry.

[scotty]

Thank you all very much. To put things into perspective I will tell you what I saw....Talking to Nursery woman who runs it, 2 little girls come skipping up and say so & so wont let us play in X room. Woman shouts very loudly over to other little girl then stops herself [presumably because I am standing there] walks over to little girl and quite rightly reprimands her. As she is walking back to me she says ''I cant be doing with these bossy children''. And that was pretty much it. Nothing horrendous and if you will forgive not serious enough to go to head with but as I said before has raised a question in my head as to her proffessionalism in expressing a view to a relative stranger. Not least because my daughter can be fairly bossy anyway!! So you will probably all think I am a Neurotic parent now :-) By the way Miffy I certainly dont think any parent who cares about there child is neurotic......worry away my love :-)) So...any further commets now?

[B00]

Hiya (again!)

No, I think you're right to be concerned, if nothing else she wasn't exactly professional was she?

I'd still take it to the head- won't do any harm at all, I would in your case.

Let us know what you decide and how it went?

[oceanauk]

Well Scotty, I too am one of those, neurotic, over protective parents!!! LOL!! Seriously, I completely agree with and understand your concerns. I certainly would have a big problem with somebody who is in charge of a nursery & children a) shouting b) making a comment to a stranger (at that time) about children c) actually professing that she "can't be bothered" with children who are merely expressing/experiencing their emotions/feelings/behaviours. It is completely unprofessional and a very serious worry as to her behaviour/attitude when no one is watching! I would speak to somebody above her; be completely honest about what you witnessed/heard - after all these are the people that will be taking care of your child, who I am assuming like all parents, is the most important person in the world to you. Nursery/school time is very difficult. It's such a turmoil for parents letting go - strangely for most children they just get on with it and thrive!! But wherever you leave your child, you should be able to have a totally honest, frank relationship with your child's carers otherwise it's not the place for you. Follow your heart's instincts - you are right. Good luck. Let us all know how it works out.

[Hellion]

You're not neurotic at all scotty - you're a Mum - it's in your job description! I agree you should go and see the Head and voice your concern about what you saw, it was unprofessional at the very least. I would add however that what you sometimes think of as 'off' doen't bother the children at all, my son has had two teachers who have made me 'bristle' on occasion with the way they've said things to children but when I questioned my son it was obvious that he adored both of them. Children on the whole recognise when someone is kind and cares about them - did the children the woman was talking to seem particularly bothered?

If you have any doubts at all about how happy your child will be at this nursery - look at the alternatives.

[Sparkles3]

Another option would be to ask if you can go in and observe a session. Admittedly it will be a slightly false situation as you will clearly be there as a visitor, but you will see what comes naturally to the staff and how the children find that.

On a personal note, whenever I have had concerns at the nursery (even very minor) I have spoken to the staff about them immediately (offering up the 'I'm sure I'm just being a neurotic mother, but I just have to ask why....'). You need to be happy with the care that your little one will be getting else you will pass on your anxiety to her and then you'll have another hill to climb! Good luck, hope you find the right solution for you both xx.

[WendyS]

Why not ask the nursery if you could sit in for a morning or afternoon just to see exactly what the children do? That way you're more likely to get a rounded view over a longer time-span, rather than just witnessing one incident, which might help you to make up your mind and evaluate the staff.

[secretspirit]

I agree with the last few posts, any nursery worth their salt will let a parent sit in - if not then what do they have to hide? You can't ever be too careful with your own child. I'll only let family look after my daughter (although she's only 12 months) because I don't trust nurseries but I know that not everyone is in a position to do that. Good luck, you've got to be happe with your choice.