Best Insult!

[glesga123]

What's the best insult you ever heard? I heard a cracker last week and I seriously doubt if it's beatable! Try to keep it clean guys!

[Bazile]

Well - lets hear it then in order that we can judge if it's beatable

[UKSWF]

He is as thick as mince!

[sandyRoe]

Your wife, Sirrah, under the pretext of keeping a bawdy house, is a receiver of stolen goods.

[gollob]

I stuck up for you last week." Somebody said you were not fit to live with pigs. I said you were"

[whiskeryron]

I don't believe in insulting people so p**** off

[anaxcrosswords]

"You look like the kind of person who takes Laser Quest very seriously". Dunno why, but I've always liked that one. In context, obviously.

[EDDIE51]

Churchill's insult
A woman says to Churchill '' You sir are drunk!''
Churchill replies '' And you are madam are ugly , but I shall be sober in the morning''

[whiskeryron]

Sorry one * too many

[EDDIE51]

Or another Churchill gem
Churchill hated the 'Lord Privy Seal ' but was forced to work with him due to his official status.
Churchill's butler announces 'Lord Privy Seal to see you sir ! '
Churchill replies ''Tell 'Lord Privy Seal' that I am sealed in the privy, and can only deal with one Sh*** at a time''

[DocHH]

Was it Winston Churchill who said, "Madam I may be drunk and you may be ugy, but in the morning I will be sober", or words to that effect!

[Arksided]

What are you on about you Rabbit dropping.

Quite simply no messing with that one.

[EDDIE51]

^^ See my post as 18.08!

[kawanabe]

Lady Astor to Churchill,"Winston,if you were my husband,I would flavour your Coffee with Poison".

Winston,"Madam,if I were your husband,I would drink it"!

[Hymie]

Mine is a heckler put-down, from memory it happened at Warwick University from a comedian performing for the students.

Heckler - ‘I came here to hear something funny.’

Comedian – ‘No you didn’t, you came here because your A-level results were ***.’

[EDDIE51]

Looks like Churchill wins !! He really was the master of insults.

[EDDIE51]

More of Churchill's put downs here
http://www.insults.net/html/political/winstonchurchill.html

[vetuste_ennemi]

Earl of Sandwich: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of the pox !"
John Wilkes: "That, my Lord, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress"

[vetuste_ennemi]

Harold Wilson: "I will make a deal with the Tories: if they don't tell lies about us we won't tell the truth about them."

But I think he borrowed the insult.

[EDDIE51]

VE your Earl of Sandwich one had me spluttering all over my laptop!