“How many abusive texts did you send and over how long? If it was over a short period you could rely on the defence that in the circumstances your actions were reasonable - for example, you had been in a long and stable relationship and were hurt and distressed when you found out she had been cheating.”
Not a chance of that succeeding as a defence. Basically “I know I harassed her but I had good reason”. It’s mitigation but not a defence.
“I can't afford legal advice I'll be defending myself..this is my logic:
1. Was she caused alarm or distress ?
No way she was in Morocco with him”
You don’t know that. She will say that she was.
“2. Did you threaten her ?
Never”
You don’t have to threaten somebody to cause them harassment.
“3. Did you abuse her with insulting words or behaviour ?
I called her lots of names because she had lied and cheated on me in what I deemed a happy stable relationship..of course I was going to be upset.”
You are building a nice case for the prosecution.
“I don't believe I have committed harrassment to the extent of me not being able to pass a dbs check ever again.”
You are getting confused. The test is not whether you have committed harassment to the extent of not being able to pass a DBS check. The test is whether you have caused the lady harassment. If it is found that you have that will be recorded against you.
It is impossible to say for certain what the outcome would be if you defended the matter at a trial. For one thing we only have your version of events whereas the court will have both sides of the story. However, from what you say, there is certainly the makings of a successful prosecution. Another consideration is that this will, if proved, be considered an offence committed in a “domestic” context and that is a considerable aggravating feature.
Only you can decide whether or not to accept a caution. Just a point of clarification on what Mikey has said:
“if the CPS think there is enough evidence for a successful prosecution, then they should say so. He shouldn't be bullied into admitting that he is guilty.”
The offer of a caution is not bullying and the acceptance of one does not involve admitting guilt. It is a way to dispose of the matter without court action and should be seen as an opportunity to consider. But it will show on a DBS check.