Life's so complicated

[Roughquest]

I am in a right pickle. I was sent on a training course through work, stayed at a lovely hotel and met a gorgeous guy who was also staying in the hotel at the same time. We got chatting in the bar (I noticed he was married as he was wearing a ring), watched some TV and I let him know my room no. I went up to bed, a little time later I heard a knock at my room door, it was him. I had no idea he would seriously have turned up. I let him in and we spent the night chatting and shared a bottle of wine. That is all. Throughout my stay I could not stop thinking about him. We exchanged mobile numbers, and after out meeting he started texting me asking to see me again, we met up one more time before we both had to depart to go home. We got on really well, and just clicked together almost like i had known him for years. We live approx 200 miles away from each other, and last weekend he drove all the way to see me and we spent a whole weekend together, which was just wonderful. Now he says he is in love with me and cant stop thinking about me, he sends me tons of emails and texts and phones me several times a day. I feel elated when I hear from him. He has sent me lots of pictures also and he is already planning his next trip to see me, he apologised for the way he feels about me, he knows its wrong.
Shall I give him up?

[DotH]

has he talked about his marriage? is he really married? Sounds odd he is able to do all that if he is.

[bobtheturkey]

how the hell can he be in love with you its only a few days, his marriage is probably in a mess and emotionally he is all over the place

[Roughquest]

He told me he is married, and he is wearing a wedding band. Like tonight for instance he sent me a quick text that read 'Please, please dont text or ring me as my wife has borrowed my mobile". I agreed with BobTurkey though, I dismissed his being in love with me, I laughed it off to him by saying that he doesnt know me that well, even though I too have strong feelings for him already. He told me to stop taking the p**s out of him by mocking his feelings towards me. I told him he wanted his cake and to eat it to which he replied ""I know you think I've got the best of both worlds, that maybe so, but I can't stop the way I feel about you".

[mazie]

please forgive the forthrightness of this question and dont feel you have to answer.

have you had sex yet?

if the answer is no...then it could just be he likes the chase

[Roughquest]

Yes we have slept together.

[laurence2]

I love straight forward questions, you meet a gorgeous guy {starry eyed} give him your room number{very silly especially in this day and age}, hes wearing a wedding ring{don't play with fire}, don't ring his mobile as his wife has borrowed is phone{yea right}.

Shall you give him up? well read the above over again then let us know

[jon1968]

Sorry to burst your bubble RQ but you�re being played here, although I doubt you�ll believe it no matter how many people tell you.

If you want to be the �bit on the side� then carry on - but that�s all you�ll ever be. If you�re happy with that then enjoy yourself, just don�t expect anything more. If you do want or expect more then tell him to call you once he�s left his wife (& kids??) - don�t hold your breath though �cause I can assure you it�s all just a game.

All the best, sorry if this sounds harsh.x

[mazie]

He might be in love with you, he might leave his wife...but he might not, so you just have to be ready to deal with that. If you are prepared to take that risk then thats up to you..good luck with whatever you choose to do

[rugeleyboy]

sorry to twist the dagger here RQ, but has this bloke got any kids??

[toecrusher]

if he does leave his wife and get together with you, could you ever trust him not to the same to you? get out now is my advice.

[Aliceband]

Having his cake and eating it springs to mind Roughquest. Please get out of this relationship before you get hurt

[Ms.Hijinx]

im really sorry RQ but how dare you go after someone who is married a wedding ring means dont touch, what were you thinking i know it take 2 to tango but its ppl like you who become homewreckers go find someone single cos even if you get him in the end he will do to you what he is doing to current partner and then youll be on here asking AB to sort that out- run while you can cos if i were his wife and i found out id definately come and find you and do you damage!! please get out before its too late good luck

[Shire]

I'd agree with those who say RUN! It sounds to me like this chap is obviously just after a bit on the side I'm afraid. Even if he was prepared to leave his wife for you, please remember the old saying "If they can do it with you, they can do it TO you" Would you ever be truly able to trust such a man, whose job seems to take him away from home, not to do the same with the next woman he meets in a hotel bar?

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think you would do well to tell him to go home to his wife and not contact you again. Bar his emails/calls etc if neccesary and find yourself a nice single guy - they are out there! Take care of yourself.

[mattoc66]

yes I would drop him like a stone cos it sounds like he's got the best of both worlds.. hes probably got a nice wife (who deserves better than a cheating rat) and kids and now he's got a bit on the side to satisfy his lusts. its a sure fire no win for you. Id look for someone single who will be there for you all the time.

[Roughquest]

Im not naive, or gullible, i know he will never leave his wife, i also know he will do this again and again, but i have nothing to lose, i enjoy his company and im very attracted to him, we have a great time together, but i would rather have half an hour of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special, cliche as this is. Men are all weak at the end of the day, and each of your husbands that are away on business at the moment, how do you know what they are up to and who they are with??? YOU HAVE NOT A CLUE. Anyman that goes with another woman during his marriage is not 100% happy no matter what he may say. And at the end of the day IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO. I will carry on seeing him until it i decide to end it. He is doing all the running to me so I will just lap it up thanks for all your comments however harsh and judgemental they have been.

[Roughquest]

AND MsHijink from your rather aggressive post to me it seems you are very bitter, has your other half left you for someone elseor had an affair ? If this be the case I am sorry for you, very sorry, I would not wish that on anyone, but dont blame us single ladies, men can make their own minds up darling. It sounds to me like you have issues. I hope you find peace of mind soon.

[Ms.Hijinx]

i apologise if you thought i was agressive and in answer to your question noone cheats on me cos i am a Domme and anyone in a relationship with me is a submissive and is in chastity but thats a whole other thing, the point i was trying to get across was that i thought you had more respect for yourself than to want or deserve sloppy seconds you seemed to have asked a genuine question and we all seemed to be out to save you from this love rat but from reading your second post it seems you have already made up your mind though i doubt you will get much support for that decision from ABers my original response remains the same and sincerely please be careful good luck

[Roughquest]

Thank you MsHijink, I DO certainly have respect for myself, I am the one calling the shots here, if he is willing to travel the distance to see and want to be with me and I dont have to lift a finger I am hardly chasing him. I am simply being with someone i like for the timebeing, that is all, its that simple, i dont love him, but i take each day as it comes, if I end it with him, i will stil be hurting myself, everything ends, but i am under no illusions that he will leave his wife (who incidentally has 3 kids from a previous marriage, this is HIS first wife) he needs a medal to have taken on someone elses kids. He works his butt off for his family, so I dare say he gets to spend much time at home in the long run, we all need affection at the end of the day no matter what the circumstances.

[mattoc66]

It looks like you've answered your own question RQ.. Just beware of heartbreak its bound to cause someday.. Good luck and best wishes whatever the outcome