Late

[marval]

I was over an hour late for work this morning.

When I arrived the boss stormed over and snapped, “What’s your excuse this time Matthew?”

“Sorry sir,” I replied. “I missed the bus.”

He said, “Well make sure you’re more punctual in future.”

I said, “Sorry sir comma I missed the bus full stop”

[Tilly2]

Capital punishment!

[Patsy33]

Did he kick you up the bracket(s)?....

[Garaman]

...yes and it was felt in the colon, but I blame the parenthesis.

[Patsy33]

I had to dash off to A&E..

[jno]

I had a terrible attack of diaeresis.

[Patsy33]

Hope your vowels didn't suffer!

[marval]

That deserves an exclamation.

[maggiebee]

????