No wonder formula 1 drivers have so many points at the end of the season. Have you seen how fast they drive?
Why can Nessie open any door? She is a loch’s myth.
The landlord collapsed while I was standing at the bar the other night and someone shouted that I should check his vital signs. Thankfully the ‘Fire Exit’ and the ‘No Smoking’ ones were still there.
My father used to be a tailor, as was his father, and his father’s father. I think I shall follow suit.
My relationship ended with my ex because I kept making rugby jokes. We’ll attempt to stay in touch, I’ll give it a try anyway.
Old Macdonald had a really bad scrabble hand, E – I – E – I – O.
I keep imagining I’m holding an invisible pack of cards. No one knows what I am dealing with.
I tried ringing a scissor factory today, I got cut off.
My friend was hosting a chicken football tournament on his farm and he asked me along to watch. I didn’t stay long though, the matches were rubbish. It was just fowl after fowl.