How to help a friend?

[EcclesCake]

A year ago a friend discovered her husband had been sleeping with a number of women. In fact he was having affairs with two women in his office which was to be his downfall and resulted in his wife finding out. Their separation was immediate and since then she has been rebuilding her life.

In the new year she began taking an interest in exercise, going to classes and using a personal trainer. Consequently she began losing weight. All good so far, out and about meeting new people and taking exercise.

Her interest in exercise increased to such an extent that our regular meetings were being arranged around various classes. I became concerned that her dedication to her classes was becoming addictive and not entirely healthy overall.

In the last couple of months she has met a man who is by her own admission 'not her type'. I had never heard his name mentioned and within a week of learning about him she announced he was her 'soulmate' 'and had never felt like this about anyone before'.

Since meeting him she has cut herself away from friends and her contact has been sporadic until last week when I received a text wanting to know when we could get together as she and Mr X where having a difficult time.

I got together with my friend and explained that I was worried about her and she had been displaying obsessive behaviour with her exercise and I was concerned that she was similarly obsessed with her new BF.

Given she has a history of depression and I was concerned her obsessive behaviour was a sign of it returning I suggested she see her Dr. She agreed and admitted that others had recommended she see the Dr too.

She has now had an appointment with her Dr but is not responding to enquiries about how it went.

I'm not looking for chapter and verse but am very worried about my friend and given her past history of depression want to help her but how do you help someone who only talks to you when they want to?

Sorry to those who have fallen asleep and thanks to those who haven't ;-)

[China Doll]

It's a shame Eccles but she just isn't in the mind frame to process your information, she sounds very distraught. It would be wonderful if we could always protect our friends and make them see exactly what we see but you just can't, and particularly not when they're feeling very frail.

Plus it is true that we never know 100% what goes on behind closed doors. I hope for the best for your friend, give her time to heal a bit and be there for her, sounds like you are anyway.