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It's a stunningly attractive plant
https://www.wiseknotweed.com/media/galleries/48/fullsize.jpg
and often found alongside rivers and streams here in East Anglia (and probably almost everywhere else in the UK).

Most people know to keep well clear of it. (The Portsmouth News seems to be only reprinting a story that's at least half a century old. I knew about the dangers of Giant Hogweed when I was still at primary school).
Been in Britain a long time now, warnings every year.
As you say a stunning plant from a safe distance
PS: If you're going to blame the Russians, then it's Tsar Alexander the First who has to carry the can, because that's when the Gorenki Botanic Gardens kindly supplied Giant Hogweed seeds to Kew Gardens (with the progeny of those seeds causing problems here ever since).
While most members of the parsley family are harmless, Giant hogweed is not one of them and its good to see awareness raised.

Two others in the parsley family that are poisonous and to be aware of, is 'water dropwort' and 'hemlock'.
//Its sap contains a dye that gathers sunlight and re-emits it at damaging wavelengths causes painful and persistent burns.”//

Gathers sunlight then the emits it?

What the hell does that mean?

With its acid blood this plant sounds like the creature on Alien.

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