A racehorse goes into a bar. The bouncer says, “You can’t come in here with those trainers.”
I looked out my window this morning and saw a few flakes falling. I thought, “That guy in the flat above me is throwing away good chocolate.”
My wife left me because I admitted I love denise. Love elbows too, I guess my joint fetish is strange.
My friend wants to be a bin man when he’s older. He has got rubbish aspirations.
What is a beaucoup? Because my French friend always tells me that it means a lot to him.
Watched a DVD today and at the start it stated “It is illegal to copy this film”. I wasn’t actually planning on putting on a cape and dishing out vigilante justice after watching Superman.
I am not a major shareholder of the Beefeater Group but I do have a steak in it.
My mums into role reversal, she puts the ham on the outside.
My next door neighbour confronted me at my front door this morning in her underwear. She wanted to know why I was wearing it.
A lizard is reported to have escaped tonight from London Zoo. Police are monitoring the situation.