Technology3 mins ago
Scottish Jokes
A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. “Comfy?” asks the dentist. “Govan,” she replies
Glasgow is a very negative place. If Kanye was born in Glasgow he would have been called No You Cannae
What did the Scottish guy do with the trumpet buried in his garden? He rooted it oot.
Man lost in Edinburgh says to a policeman, “Excuse me is there a B&Q in Leith?” Policeman replies, “No sir, but there are two Ds and two Es in Dundee.”
“Three of us went to a fancy dress party in Glasgow last night dressed as a giant sandwich. We managed to make it home in one piece”
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. “No,” argues the assistant, “look at the label – it says Taiwan.”
“Edinburgh and Glasgow, same country, two very different cities. When a gun goes off in Edinburgh, it’s one o’clock”
Glasgow is a very negative place. If Kanye was born in Glasgow he would have been called No You Cannae
What did the Scottish guy do with the trumpet buried in his garden? He rooted it oot.
Man lost in Edinburgh says to a policeman, “Excuse me is there a B&Q in Leith?” Policeman replies, “No sir, but there are two Ds and two Es in Dundee.”
“Three of us went to a fancy dress party in Glasgow last night dressed as a giant sandwich. We managed to make it home in one piece”
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. “No,” argues the assistant, “look at the label – it says Taiwan.”
“Edinburgh and Glasgow, same country, two very different cities. When a gun goes off in Edinburgh, it’s one o’clock”
Answers
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.As a Christmas present one year, the Laird gave his gamekeeper, MacPhail, a deerstalker hat with ear-flaps.
MacPhail was most appreciative and always wore it with the flaps tied under his chin to keep his ears warm in the winter winds.
One cold, windy day the Laird noticed he was not wearing the hat.
"Where's the hat?" asked the Laird.
"I've given up wearing it since the accident," replied MacPhail.
"Accident? I didn't know you'd had an accident."
"Yes. A man offered me a nip of whisky and I had the earflaps down and never heard him."
MacPhail was most appreciative and always wore it with the flaps tied under his chin to keep his ears warm in the winter winds.
One cold, windy day the Laird noticed he was not wearing the hat.
"Where's the hat?" asked the Laird.
"I've given up wearing it since the accident," replied MacPhail.
"Accident? I didn't know you'd had an accident."
"Yes. A man offered me a nip of whisky and I had the earflaps down and never heard him."