Unhappy Feeling

[sunny-dave]

I'm not a big one for introspection - but today I'm feeling decidedly maudlin.

Not for myself, but because I'm now exactly the same age that my Dad was when he died.

Comparing my happiness (and the future I hope to have in front of me) with his struggle with continual ill-health and then an early death has made me sad - he (and my Mum) must have felt cheated of the retirement they'd worked for.

I'll be fine tomorrow - but right now I'm stuck in a brown study ...

SDx

[Calicogirl]

Omg That's awful Rowan, your poor family must have been so grief stricken :( x

[rowanwitch]

Like I said, you use the dark stuff to help you appreciate the good. I think I was lucky finding someone and knowing that our time would be limited. My parents expected a lifetime together... A friend lost her husband after a few weeks of marriage, she was in her early 40s, hoping for children and a future...

[Theland]

The nice thing about Answerbank, is the willingness of complete strangers to lend a sympathetic ear to our darker moments.
It has helped me in the past.

[Mamyalynne]

You make a very good point there Rowan.

It's often impossible to imagine how some people cope in unbelievably tragic circumstances.

[albaqwerty]

occasionally I feel down.
Today wasn't nice receiving bequests from a relative.
an end to a chapter

Giving an opinion is fine when it's asked for.

[Calicogirl]

I'm always wary of being too happy Rowan for exactly those reasons, to the point where if I think about it it terrifies me x

[rowanwitch]

Don't let it terrify you, use it to help you see joy for what it is, wonderful because it is finite, a highlight in ordinary day to day happiness and sadnesses, like the deep lows, which are the other end of the continuum.

[Ellipsis]

> Giving an opinion is fine when it's asked for.

OK, much though I dislike what sqad and naomi wrote, I do have to agree with them that posting on AB is in itself asking for an opinion (or a factual response where appropriate). I think the real problem is that what they wrote was so off topic and unhelpful to the OP; the response the OP was looking for could be interpreted in several ways, none of which were "Please have a go at me / AB". This was after all a post in Body and Soul, one of the more serious categories where some OPs need skilful help which sqad is very good for in the "body" department - sadly less so the "soul", it appears ...

[jno]

someone may have made this point already, but if your father was unwell for a long time, he may already have made the mental adjustment to short life expectation well before he died, and made the most of his time (which younger people often don't do, since they expect to live for ever). Such are the advances in medicine that most of us can expect to live longer than our parents.

[Peter Pedant]

// The nice thing about Answerbank, is the willingness of complete strangers to lend a sympathetic ear....//

the kindness of strangers

and your frenz come out with a nigh phrase like
oh yeah just run along -I am OK so you'll be OK

[jno]

but the unkindness of ravens, PP. Sometimes it spills over into humans too, but that's the internet for you, I suppose.

[ummmm]

It's my dads anniversary the end of this month. He was 59. I try really hard to be 'OK' but I'm not and I don't think I ever will be.

[Mamyalynne]

Stays with you sweetheart ((♥))

[ummmm]

Thankyou Mams. My uncle has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer...so not a good month x

[Mamyalynne]

No, it most certainly isn't - cruel indeed.