The French

[marval]

The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power. I think they should stop over-reacting.

My partner complained about not being wanted, so I went to the post office and put up his picture.

“Look right before exiting Station.” So after topping up with petrol, I got out, tucked my shirt in and combed my hair.

Anabolic, Carbolic, Parabolic, Symbolic; what a load of Bolics.

I get my kicks out of cuddling wild horses.

I decided to splash the cash earlier, the coins didn’t get damaged but the notes were ruined.

If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?

I asked the man at the garage how much I owed him for a new tyre he fitted for me today. He said, “Just give me a score mate.” So I replied, “Man Utd won 3-0 at the weekend”. And drove off.

My partner kept threatening to leave me because he says he is sick of my infatuation with Tommy Cooper. He just left me, just like that.

[Patsy33]

Lol!

[maggiebee]

Some crackers there marval - it's the way you tell them!

[jim360]

This post could have ended after the title and still been funny.