How do i move on?

[hugoboss]

I have recently split up from a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend. We live together (bought a house 8 months ago - d'oh!). I think we'll stay living together for a while til we can figure out how to move on without each other. Anyway, what i want to know, has anyone gone through this? Is it possible to live together without being together? We're in seperate rooms obviously. Also, I need some ideas of how to build my life up again. i need to meet more people..all my mates are married/paired off. Any advice/help would be lovely. x Thanks x

[dot.hawkes]

hey, try 16 years of being 'together' and then try the 'your friends my friends' route, be civil, get legal advice, don't get drunk and sleep with him ever again no matter how attractive he seems after 6 voddys.

[petes_dragon]

my advice........

1. cry
2. mope
3. get drunk (do what dot says about not sleeping with him though)
4. go shopping (retail therapy)

after all that, take a look at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself how gorgeous you are, how great you are and what a tw*t he is - let it go, move on, pick up the pieces and start again!

A xXx

[RATTER14]

One of you really needs to move out, things could get very messy. it is possible to be just good friends but seldom works, especially when one of you want to bring home a new partner.

[laurence2]

Its a difficult one to call, are you both mutual on splitting up

It would be difficult to move on in regards to other partners whilst under the same roof, this will restrict your social life to a certain degree

Can't one of you move out, or is it financially not possible, or is it, whos going to make the 1st move.

i agree with the other post tho, don't fall for the getting drunk and i love you really storey when theirs no love their, if your going to split, try to conduct it in an adult/sensible way, it will be difficult but try to remain friends

[atolhurst]

Are you tied in to the mortgage for two years then? Obviously, you could just stop paying the mortgage and wait for the mortgage company to repossess but any equity you put in will be lost and you'll have a bad credit rating afterwards.

As much as moving out would be great, unless you have loads of money, can you afford a mortgage payment and a rent? And also, how would you decide who stayed and who went.

I'm in a similar domestic situation and if we ever split up, I'd be really p*ss*d off with the idea of him staying in the house (especially if he bought other women back) while I moved out but was still paying the mortgage. And I'm sure he'd feel the same if i was the one staying in the house.

As to how to move on, depends on how you feel about him now: If you're pining for him, having a fling probably isn't going to do you any good. But if you're happy, then maybe you could go speed dating (as mentioned in another post today) and see what you find.

As to making friends, maybe you could join a sport club? Netball, or a step class. And maybe a gym too; you might not actually meet any body that way but you can tone yourself up and feel even better about yourself. And it occupies time - I moved to London and I didn't know anybody so I joined a gym and whilst it wasn't great for meeting people, I got so healthy (because I had so much time on my hands!). the fittest I've ever been

There are also websites that people post something along the lines of friends "personals" so maybe you could google that.

Also, what are your work colleagues like? Any fun? If so, maybe organise a night out with some of them.

[Lindy Loo]

Hi Hugo,

Really sorry to hear your news so sending cyber hugs your way.
Got a seat reserved for you on 'Book, the kettle's on and the biscuits are ready. Feel free to drop in for some tlc anytime you want. xxx

[Amber1571]

I was in almost the exact same position - only difference is, we were married. I relunctantly moved out - couldn't affort to buy him out - he kept everything, scr*wed me finanically, but peace of mind is priceless. I am skint, but happier. My friends were initially his friends and now they are just his friends. It is hard, especially in your mid 30's, but I am joining a gym, and doing an evening course, to try and meet people. Be brave, take a deep breath and move on.

x