Would Wild Birds Eat Grapes If They Were...
Home & Garden3 mins ago
Beginners ....
.... A young virgin couple are finally wed. Each one is nervous about the impending night, but neither are willing to admit or ask each other about it. Wondering what to do first, the young man calls his father.
"Pop, what do I do first?"
"Get naked and climb into bed," his father replies.
So, the young man does as he is advised. The girl is mortified and calls her mama.
"Get naked and join him," is the advice from mama, so she complies.
After laying there for a few moments, the young man excuses himself and calls his dad again.
"What do I do?" he asks.
His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the hardest part of your body and put it where she pees!" is the dad's advice.
A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do now?" she asks.
"Well, what is he doing?" mama asks.
"He's in the bathroom, dunking his head in the toilet!"
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Dave
Similar to a Welsh honeymoon joke I heard years ago,
Dai and Caredwyn are seen off by Dai's Gran at the Railway station in the valleys. They are on their honemoon to Tenby.
On arrival at the hotel Dai, the gentleman he is, instructs Caredwyn to take all the luggage upstairs to the room and wait for him whilst he has a few pints in the bar.
Later that evening Dai goes upstairs to the room and finds Caredwyn in bed with the sheets pulled up to her chin.He sits on the end of the bed and starts taking off his boots cos he's tidy like that.
Caredwyn says in a tremelous voice, "Dai I have something I need to tell you"
"Oh yes",says Dai,
"Yes it is really quite important" says Caredwyn,
"Well go on then. What is it ?" says Dai.
"I'm a, I'm a , I'm a Virgin" blurts out Caredwyn,
"Noooooooooo. Never, dieu dieu dieu"says Dai,
At that Dai laces his boots back up,packs his case and gets on the next train back to the Valleys.
He meets his Gran knitting at her front door.
"Why you back so early Dai. What happened to your honeymoon. Where's Caredwyn?"asks Gran.
"Well it's like this Gran. I was just getting ready for bed and she told me she had important news for me. When I asked what it was she told me she was a virgin, so I packed my bag and came straight home"
"Quite right Dai Bach. You done the right thing.If she wasn't good enough for the rest of the boys in the valley then she's not good enpough for my Dai Bach!"
Similar to a Welsh honeymoon joke I heard years ago,
Dai and Caredwyn are seen off by Dai's Gran at the Railway station in the valleys. They are on their honemoon to Tenby.
On arrival at the hotel Dai, the gentleman he is, instructs Caredwyn to take all the luggage upstairs to the room and wait for him whilst he has a few pints in the bar.
Later that evening Dai goes upstairs to the room and finds Caredwyn in bed with the sheets pulled up to her chin.He sits on the end of the bed and starts taking off his boots cos he's tidy like that.
Caredwyn says in a tremelous voice, "Dai I have something I need to tell you"
"Oh yes",says Dai,
"Yes it is really quite important" says Caredwyn,
"Well go on then. What is it ?" says Dai.
"I'm a, I'm a , I'm a Virgin" blurts out Caredwyn,
"Noooooooooo. Never, dieu dieu dieu"says Dai,
At that Dai laces his boots back up,packs his case and gets on the next train back to the Valleys.
He meets his Gran knitting at her front door.
"Why you back so early Dai. What happened to your honeymoon. Where's Caredwyn?"asks Gran.
"Well it's like this Gran. I was just getting ready for bed and she told me she had important news for me. When I asked what it was she told me she was a virgin, so I packed my bag and came straight home"
"Quite right Dai Bach. You done the right thing.If she wasn't good enough for the rest of the boys in the valley then she's not good enpough for my Dai Bach!"
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