I Have

[marval]

I have got a French Bulldog. I am always letting him out for a oui.

In the betting shop my friend told me to put all my money on a horse named Landfill
I am fuming as it turns out it was a rubbish tip

I am just on my way to fix Cat Stevens’ caravan.
His awning has broken.

A woman found her son smoking cannabis so she phoned the drugs help line.
The operator said for more information, press the hash key.

I was invited to a fancy dress party so I went dressed as a harp.
My mate told me the costume was too small to be a harp.
I said to him “Are you calling me a lyre?”

[maggiebee]

Hahahahaha good ones marval, especially the last one.

[Patsy33]

Love ''em! :-))

[Spicerack]

Very good.

[Helewel]

Enjoyed those. Thank you!

[Canary42]

You sure do come out with some good ones. Some wonderful chuckles here.

[douglas9401]

They are so, so stolen. :-)