TTT: //FF: "A slight change of topic but there are sometimes queues outside post offices (even before lockdown) and people are prepared to queue to do thinks like collect pension as cash (MIL insists on it then pay most into bank)" - she does know that they'll pay it directly into the bank right?//
Yes. Had that conversation loads of times but it just leads to resentment. Has a PO card. Draws pension out as cash in PO. Keeps back maybe £30-£40 to pay gardener, buy a paper, put in charity envelopes, pay hairdresser etc, and gets bus into town to pay the rest into bank to cover DDs, cheques, QVC account (or expects me to take and pay in for her). Puts her in control, she feels. She knows the money is there. Also she doesn't want the bank staff knowing her business such as exactly how much pension she gets. You sometimes just have to leave people to do things their way.