Sorry...its A Thread About My Mum Again

[nailit]

Sorry, but just trying to help my mum.
She was discharged from hospital yesterday into my sisters care.
She's been assigned carers again twice a day but she's deterioated so much in the last couple of weeks.
Had to go over to my sisters this afternoon to simply lift her in bed (now totally bed ridden) as she was in so much pain and couldnt even get a few inches up the bed.
She's admitted that she now needs around the clock care, either in a Dougie Mac or an oncology ward. But her biggest fear is dying alone.
Also had to get a district nurse out to her tonight who gave her 2 injections. One for sleep and one for pain relief.

Question is, if she were to be admitted to either DM or oncology, would she be allowed visitors? Or is it (like her recent stay in hospital) dependent upon ward managers?
Thanks.

[Tilly2]

Be careful, Nails. You can't afford to go off the rails.

[Bobbisox1]

You're in my thoughts Nailt at this most dreadful of times for you xx

[Theland]

For reasons I won't go into here, please let me advise you to do what you can, when you can, as best as you can, and as quietly as you can.
Deal with each task in a calm measured way, as to do otherwise, even in the face of unfairness and inefficiency, will only scar you and leave you with bitter memories, and you owe it to yourself, not to leave yourself with bitter memories.

[nailit]

//will only scar you and leave you with bitter memories, and you owe it to yourself, not to leave yourself with bitter memories//

I know eveyrbody means well and for that I am eternally grateful.
But I have bitter memories of my father been left to die in agony by health care proffesionals.
It aint going to happen to my mum,
not without reprisals.

[Bigbad]

At least try the “official” route of complaint, nailit.
I did, both whilst My Dad was still alive and after he’d gone.
Although, admittedly it didn’t do any good.
I hope that your Mum’s (and the rest of the family) suffering ends soon, and that someone is with her when she finally goes.

[calmck]

Can you contact the surgeon who operated and ask him to prescribe pain relief. Explain that you are getting no help from the dn. or can you contact local GP and ask him to prescribe strong meds. Worst case call an ambulance if possible have your mum groaning in the background and say she is in terrible pain. Stay calm for everyone's sake and good luck

[nailit]

Do your job right and there wont be any will there?

What is so hard to understand?
Dont leave people in pain? Especially when they are dying. Its not bloody difficult to understand.

[Patsy33]

It's a very frustrating, and draining time for you and family, Nailit. All you want is the best for your dear Mum, which she whole heartedly deserves. Try not to lash out, it will only cause more upset. I hope with all my heart, Mum will be suitably well cared for in her final days.x

[rowanwitch]

You might want to write to Dr Jane Sissons she is listed on the board of trustees as one of two members responsible for clinical governance letting her know the issues you are experiencing. It is likely she will be able to apply a little pressure from above.

[nailit]

Sorry.
Ignore me from now on, my heads up my arris with it all.
I have to be up for work in the morning as we all have to but everydays like is this the day that Im going to THE phone call?
Ive had a drink.
apoligies,

[Tilly2]

We are not going to ignore you. We are all rooting for you and hoping that you don't do anything which will cause you further pain.
You have had some excellent advice on this thread. Don't try to take matters in your own hands and lash out at anyone. You owe that to your Mum and yourself.

[pixie374]

Completely understandable, nails... but you need to get back to the actual GP and fight for pain relief. No, you shouldn't have to... but sometimes, you do.

[Maydup]

No need to apologise Nailit. Sleep well tonight and get on the phone to the GP first thing in the morning. Take the day off work if you have to, to collect the pain killers, or to keep an appointment; they will understand.