I'm so glad the vet let you stay with him to the end Messalina as you didn't think you would be able to. That's the way it should be. In time you will look back and enjoy all the happy memories of your years with him. Stay strong, it's awful losing a much loved pet. x
Sorry to read your sad news Messalina.We lost our old tom cat last winter so I have some idea of your feeling at the moment.Cling to your memories they’ll help see you through.