It is my experience that it is v v difficult to discuss serious mental health issues - either your own or those of someone close to you. It is often only when crisis point is reached that such discussion is provoked because it has to be. Until then everything appears normal.
I know of a couple where he lost it and threatened to kill them both and even after his admission to a mental health unit she downplayed it. When her mental health suffered it was several years before she sought help and even then not from her family.
I have no idea what either of them went thru. They may have suffered, they may not, but I do not believe one can judge from the surrounding circumstances as to what was available and what they could have done.