Darcey, when I say I know how you're feeling I really mean it.
Last year I was told my mum had hours or at most just days to live. She held on for weeks and I hated every hour of those weeks.
I wasn't allowed to leave Ireland to see her...I'd not have been allowed even if I had made the journey. I dreaded each phone call I had to answer.
It's such mixed feelings, isn't it. Wishing her to pass away quickly seems awful but the living on is, as you say, cruel.
I can't say anything to make you feel better or bear it more easily but know that others have gone through the same and feel for you... Gx