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How Do I Handle Deconverting
59 Answers
I was not raised religious and my dad is agnostic and my mom always believed but didn’t go to church but I felt something missing in my life and got into a local Baptist church after I found God on my own in 2019 as I loved the friendly people and the way they preached the Bible and Jesus but then over time realized that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t leave behind all the rap and rock music I love and friendships I cherish that came from bonding over that music and I then realized it equally wasn’t my true self to oppose homosexuality or think that all non-believers and non-Christians go to hell when I truly thought about it and that my flaws weren’t improving like I thought they would. So my parents would not shame me for making my own decision, but my mom might be a bit disappointed due to the fact that she does think faith is important and appreciates that I led her back to God and going to church but what I really am concerned about is whether or how to tell my church friends who would be legitimately upset and not bother to understand any of my reasons for deconverting and am stuck between dreading the unpleasant conversation but also feeling it’s honest and liberating to tell them and not have them deceived into thinking I am still the believer they know when I am not and then if they want to be friends and are willing to not insist on dwelling on talking to me about reconverting then I can handle that but if they don’t want to keep hanging with me I’ll be fine and probably better hanging with my secular friends and family who appreciate me regardless of beliefs and bond with me over music and other things. Plus, when I at this age of 21 that I am now think of certain things I have done that were so wrong throughout my childhood and teenage years, it makes me question whether my nature really is flawed and needs redeeming, but then when I think of my amazing Dad who is agnostic, I see nothing about him that says sinful in nature. So I really just don’t know how to handle this and if anyone could help I really would appreciate it.
Answers
The most important thing is that you are true to yourself. You can't live life by other people's rules and nor should you try. Stop going to church if that's what you want and if anyone asks just be honest and say religion is not for you. The people who love you will still love you and your real friends will remain friends. The rest you don't need. Good luck.
08:19 Wed 20th Oct 2021
and it is not me !
yeah I was gonna say this is an obvious wind up
the give away was - - - what do you find in the Bible which is an obvious lie? - no one talks like that ( Some like it hot - Beach seen)
unblush Naomi - this is not deserved....
O god and missing Hamlet I can er understand
but not knowing what staring at a belly button is..... really !
yeah I was gonna say this is an obvious wind up
the give away was - - - what do you find in the Bible which is an obvious lie? - no one talks like that ( Some like it hot - Beach seen)
unblush Naomi - this is not deserved....
O god and missing Hamlet I can er understand
but not knowing what staring at a belly button is..... really !
Adherence to a religion (any religion) is not necessarily based purely on rationality, some of the most life-enhancing things are not very rational after all.
Also, the Baptist Church isn't the only Christian church, in fact to be a Christian it isn't necessary to be a churchgoer at all, like your mum (& passionate Christians such as William Blake).
Why not explore some other Christian viewpoints before eschewing the benefits of the entire religion & all its facets ?
Also, the Baptist Church isn't the only Christian church, in fact to be a Christian it isn't necessary to be a churchgoer at all, like your mum (& passionate Christians such as William Blake).
Why not explore some other Christian viewpoints before eschewing the benefits of the entire religion & all its facets ?
n. //I don’t live my life by Answerbank’s rules //
Yes you do, when that bit of your life is on AnswerBank (which seems to be quite a lot) Also, I hope you don't 'chose' which side of the road to drive on, pay your taxes or, dare I say, sneeze in someone's face.
To embrace a religion is not to follow "other people's rules", you can make up your own as every Christian does, even Catholics. Nobody can change what you think, that is, unless you're a moron.
Yes you do, when that bit of your life is on AnswerBank (which seems to be quite a lot) Also, I hope you don't 'chose' which side of the road to drive on, pay your taxes or, dare I say, sneeze in someone's face.
To embrace a religion is not to follow "other people's rules", you can make up your own as every Christian does, even Catholics. Nobody can change what you think, that is, unless you're a moron.
Yeah Khandro the benefits are why I have mixed feelings but it is starting to feel like the negatives outweigh the positives because of the doctrines about homosexuality and hell and having spent so many days and nights in turmoil about whether what I’m doing is pleasing to god when it comes to stuff like my musical tastes and whether I am or was truly saved etc.
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