you appear to set a lot of store by what people think YOU should think. Looking back over your questions, it's a lot of "is it wrong i think this", "is it wrong to hope that", is it wrong to do this"
1)you need to realise that you think what you think no matter what opinion anyone else has on eithe the situation or your response.
2) you need to have the balls to stick by what you think about thngs/do.
Nothing you do/think/hope seems extreme. If you were saying "is it wrong to think about murdering people every moment of the day it might be different!