Problems relating to abortion

[karmgirl]

2 years ago I had an abortion. The people at work know I have had an abortion and one of my colleagues actually really influenced my decision and told me to have it. (when I didn't need all that influencing).

Well since then this colleague has had a child. The conversation of babies and children and pregnancy comes up a lot and sometimes everyone gets involved as other colleague has kids as well. I feel like sometimes they are trying to purposely hurt my feelings since they know I've had an abortion. I don't feel brave enough to talk to them about it and can't talk to my boss properly as she is colleagues mum. It really gets me down sometimes.

[grizzly bear]

I find some new mums (not all) can be pratty around childless women whether they have had an abortion or just can't get one yet for any reason. They act as if they have done something brilliant just by being knocked up and condescend to others not in their club.
If they thought hat much of thier kids they would be at home with them and hanging about with other mums not miles away in an office.
Regardless of why karmgirl feels like she does who asks them to keep boasting? I say find another job with less cliquey people and for your own sake go for counselling with other women who have been through it.

[4getmenot]

And also just to add have you ever tried putting yourself in your colleagues shoes, they might be thinking �I shouldn�t talk about my baby because she had an abortion� but then they might be thinking �but if I don�t talk about it will she know I�m doing it because of her and feel bad and I don�t want her to feel bad� so they are just being normal.

[4getmenot]

You will find that though grizzly whether in office or at a party I find the new mums often stand together and run on about their children and I stand there bored. But then who�s to say I wont be like that when I have a child, let them run on about them, because some mothers just don�t give a t0ss about there kids and forget they even exist

[redcrx]

grizzly,
we dont know if the mums are boasting, is it not natural for any mother (working mother or not) to actually talk about her children. And the same goes for women who havnt got kids, they often like talking about trying for babies or even just talking about other peoples children,

It isnt a conspiracy against women who havnt or cant have children.

[4getmenot]

yes I go on about redcrx children all time even on here because I'm a proud aunt

[4getmenot]

That is there life, you wouldnt tell go get another job because people were all talking about what they saw on tv would you?

[tigerlily11]

For what it's worth having a child to the person involved is an all consuming thing.
And they do go on.
But Karm u are not a bad person. You took what you thought was the best course of action at the time. Wether it turns out to be right or wrong for the future is something that every human cannot predict.
Hindsigth is a wonderful thing but only after tha fact.
It's all very well the people around you giving advice but they can't possibly know how you feel about it.
I could not give advice on the subject because I feel it's not my place.
This sort of thing is soemthing that only the individual concered can decide on.
At the end of the day it is your choice and yours alone.
And as I said you made the choice because you thought it was the best one and only time will tell if it was.
But be sure in one thing, you are not alone in making this sort of choice. Hundreds of women do it. Some take it more lightly than others but it doesn't mean that they do not feel the pain that goes with it.
At the start of my post I said women who are or have recently had babies can think of nothing else and so they babbble about it morning noon and night for the first year but then believe me it wears off.
You are not a bad person, you, at the time did not make the wrong choice, and you are not alone in feeling the things you are feeling.
I think prehaps you might be punishing yourself in thinking that this woman is having fun at your expense. You might be feeling that everyone is on your case but in fact you are on your own case.
Please find help and there have been lots of great suggestions on here in doing that.
In the mean time take care and there are lots of people on here who are supporting you.
XXX

[karmgirl]

Thanks so much everyone for all your support, I really do appreciate it as just bringing the subject up of abortion you don't know how people are going to react and worry that some people will say horrid things but on this site not one person has said anything bad about me having an abortion.

4get - I am meeting my pregnant friend tonight for a drink. Unsure how I am going to feel if she talks about pregnancy. I want her to talk about pregnancy though - I don't want her to feel she shouldn't be talking about it to me. At the same time though I don't know if I should explain how I still feel upset about my abortion or just not say anything. I think I should probably share how I feel to get it in the open rather than bottle up and have a right go at her one day. But, if I tell her I don't want her to feel I am a hinderance and that she can't talk about it or be happy for herself.

[4getmenot]

mornign karmgirl sorry I missed you yesterday. How did it all go?