This is discussed in some depth on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin_paradox
The twins paradox is so called because of the belief that either twin could claim to be at rest and that both could therefore "expect" the other twin to be older.
In fact they are not equivilent one undergoes acceleration that the other does not.
I think that you may have a misunderstanding of the "cause " of time dilation. It is not simply an apparent difference due to the time light takes to convey the information to us.
An example of this is muon decay -more muons created in the upper atmosphere reach the ground than you would expect - their lifetime is longer because of their high speed
http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/rel ativ/muon.html
the fact that they are travelling towards us is irrelevant it is their velocity which is important