Relationship Suffering Because Of Parental Restrictions

[Lanzie]

Im (17) currently in a serious exclusive relationship with my boyfriend (17), however we aren’t allowed to date. My parents have made it a rule that we can’t go out by ourselves on a real date because they’re concerned about us not having any accountability. I’ve been asking my parents about this since last October, and we’ve had two other unproductive discussions about my boyfriend and I being able to date since then. I’ve asked if there was a way that my boyfriend and I could be held accountable for my parents to feel comfortable about us being alone together, or if we could prove our trustworthiness to them somehow, but my dad expressed he’d rather not have me be in that situation with my boyfriend. The only thing him and I are allowed to do is hang out with each other at our houses if parents are home, visit each other on our work breaks, or go out in a group. I’m at a point right now where I feel like my well-being in this relationship is suffering because our time together has become so stagnant. I’ve been questioning the validity of our relationship and overthinking quite a lot, and I’ve been feeling like we need to break up. When I really think about what my boyfriend and I have, however, I love our relationship, but the limited time we have together is so unproductive. I feel like I don’t get to spend quality time with my boyfriend where we actively get to see each other outside of his house or mine, and as a result, the monotony has started making me feel like something’s wrong. We don’t get a lot of quality alone time since my parents are always around, we have to be in a group, or we’ll walk to a park to get out of the house. We’ve run out of activity to do, and it’s become difficult to enjoy the time we have together because it’s become so stale. I feel like our relationship is in a rut because of this since there’s nowhere to progress to, and I don’t know what to do. The last time I had a conversation with my parents about us being able to go on a real date was two weeks ago, and my dad made it clear that we will indefinitely not be able to be alone with each other because he doesn’t want the possibility of any temptations happening. I feel so stuck and I don’t know what to do. I feel so miserable with our relationship having nowhere to go. I feel like the flame my boyfriend and I have had is dying, and I’m not sure what to do. Sure, there’s a “honeymoon phase” and this could just be us finally settling out of it, but how are we supposed to grow if we have no opportunity to truly date each other? We both would like to date each other for a potential future together, but my parents want us to treat it like we’re just friends. I need help because this feels so miserable.

[Old_Geezer]

Do you have a summary ?

As a general rule, while young and living in your parents house it's they who makes the rules. If your boyfriend can't accept that for your sake then maybe he isn't the right choice. I know things can be difficult, but that applies pretty much to life throughout. It is full of highs & lows one needs to cope with with grace.