A Few More

[Rondy]

I just burnt my fingers in boiling oil and screamed "OOH OOH AAH AAH" like a monkey.
It was a chip pan, see.

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When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”
I said, “No, not particularly."

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So there I was at the side of the road.
The car had stopped and wouldn’t start.
Steam coming from under the bonnet and oil running out from underneath.
I flagged this car down and the driver said “Can I do anything to help?
I said “Do you know anything about cars?”
He said “No. I’m not a mechanic, I’m a chiropodist”
I said “Well in that case could you give me a toe” 

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I was eating a bag of crisps tonight, and on the back of the packet it said: `Not to be sold separately'.....
I thought: "Who on earth buys just one crisp?"

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Cash Converters.
What a great place.
I got £6000 and they didn't even take the gun I went to sell.

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Police say a man who held staff hostage in a bowling alley…
Could strike again !

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[Patsy33]

Good ones! 😁😆