Friendship

[Roughquest]

I joined a singing group over a year ago, a bunch of lovely girls too. I made one special friend, we had a lot in common and shared so many interests, we went out had a great time, did a lot of things together, (she lost her husband 3 years ago and to be honest i did feel sorry for her) and has 2 kids by him, she has never got over the death of him to this day and often does the 'woe is me' impression. The group went away for a few days on a singing trip/break, and she totally ignored me, started hanging around another girl from the group and they spent the weekend thick as thieves, she totally blanked me, after all I have done for her, she is also a bi-sexual and during out friendship made several advances on me (while we were tipsy!), she is also into men and women, but I dont understand her, what have i done wrong? I have heard so many bad things about her said by other members of the group, the she made advances to other girls husbands etc and even the boyfriend of a 15 y/o girl in the group (saying she could give him a good time in the bedroom) I am both shocked and saddened by what i have heard, it all came to a head one night and everyone ended up saying their piece to her and how they felt! Awful - what do I do now? SHould I leave the group? Im so upset, i trusted her and thought she was a good friend, i feel so used.

[Willow Tree]

I think you should you leave her be. It's not your fault - i guess thats the type of person she is. She has abused your trust and everybody elses in the group. Concentrate on yourself and the group.

[curlyfilm]

unfortunatly in life, people are like that, and even as you get older you will still make the same mistakes, time will heal most things, just don'tworry about it( easier said than done!) carry on with the group if you want, as long as you enjoy it, it will soon be yesterdays news

a friend tild me this once that serves well

"treat everyone as an idiot, until they prove themselves otherwise"

and also said

"treat people as you find them, not as others do"

[Tha-Flash]

Accept it and forget her.

[B00]

Why didn't the other members of the group warn you about this woman before?

It really does sound like you've made a lucky escape from her. I really don't see why you should leave the group- you've done nohing wrong, why should she stop you enjoying this part of your social life?

Keep your dignity, be civil to her and nothing else, and count your blessings that you found out about her sooner rather than later.

[-Zorro-]

tell her to go fook herself

[Roughquest]

Too right Zorro. She does sleep around alot, and doesnt use any protection and brags about how many guys she has fooked....i know its insecurity on her part, and I also found out the night her husband was dying she was having it away with his best friend, which made me feel ill,i had no idea, and this is coming from someone who has known her for 5 years, she causes a lot of trouble, but why do people like her get the best things out of life and get away with treating others badly? She also works illegally and claims benefits, should I shop her ?

[curlyfilm]

revenge is very sweet, though

[Roughquest]

Indeed it is. :) (queue the deep voiced, loud, manic laughter!)

[dot.hawkes]

It sounds like she will end up a very lonely and sad person leave her to her own devices

[Roughquest]

She is a very sad, insecure person that i do know. She uses people for the money she gets out of them and has caused me a lot of trouble in the past....but i am a giver not a taker and I always gave her the benefit of the doubt and that she doesnt know what she is doing, but she DOES know what she is doing and is very clever at what she does. VERY MANIPULATIVE.

[wonder years]

how awful for you, but its quite clear that she likes to upset people,why should you leave the other girls know what shes like, you seem like a lovley caring preson, please dont let the likes of her change you, i dont know your age but as we go on in life you will unfotunatly encounter people like her put it down exprience and be glad in the fact that your not a bit like her, i know she may just be like this due to the greif she has suffered but she should have some dignity, she will end up with no friends behaving like this waste no more of your thoughts or care on her she may come to her senses and if you can see he change for the good the pick up the friendship again dont feel guilty you tried your best or her its up to her to help herself, so cheer up you, and you know what singing is the best thing you can do to make you happy again, take care, wyx