What's wrong with me?

[Dakota]

For the last few weeks I just don't know what's been wrong with me.  One minute I'm fine and the next I'm crying for no apparent reason.  There *has* been things going on in my life that have bothered me, split from boyfriend, money issues, etc etc. but no more than anyone else.  Also, another thing is that I am suffering from insomnia too, I go to my bed and just can't sleep.  I've tried countless things to get me to sleep to no avail.  Most people in my life would never know there is anything wrong with me as I am hiding it well.  I don't want to face them telling me that I appear fine so what's up because I would honestly have to say "I have no idea", which sounds daft.

I would feel like such a plank going to the doctor and telling him I cry for no reason numerous times per day so I don't want to go down that route.

I feel very alone right now :(

[jno]

Dakota - you've split from your boyfriend (bitterly, by the sound of it), you hate your job, money is short... you think that's no more trouble than anyone else? You're having as much trouble as most people have in a lifetime, and you're having it all at once.

No wonder your body and your mind are reeling, anyone's would be. andy hughes' diagnosis sounds very plausible, but do go to a doctor and get a professional one. I'd be surprised if he/she just laughed or told you to pull yourself together - doctors are a lot smarter than they used to be - but if that happens, just request another opinion (and in the longer run, get a new doctor). You've clearly got big issues at the moment, but it's important not to blame yourself or to try to tell yourself it doesn't matter. It does sound like a medical problem, and drugs can help.

As for your job - you say it's a good job but it bores you and doesn't pay well... not sure what's good about that! This will probably be the last thing on your list to do, but you should probably try to find better work. Meanwhile, try to enjoy yourself in your own time, as Lore suggested - art galleries, bungee jumping, whatever floats your boat. Through your posts you've always seemed kind and smart to me - and though you may think that's just a facade, I suspect most of it is the real you. I'm sure you'll pull through this, but please don't feel afraid or ashamed to seek all the professional help you can. What have you been paying taxes for, all these years?

Good luck.

[smudge]

Hi Dakota - I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down.

As a sufferer of occasional bouts of depression in the past, I do sympathise with you. I can't really add much more to Andy Hughes' & the other replies, but wish you well soon. -xx-

P.S. There's nothing wrong with crying or venting your feelings - it's better than trying to pent them. -x-

[papia]

You are suffering from depression.You should consult a counsellor and believe me he will never laugh at you.
Your sleeping disorder is due to stress and depression.
By making small lifestyle changes like having a fixed
daily routine, relaxing and eating properly,
insomnia can be cured. I found the information at http://tinyurl.com/jfzpz useful for getting sleep.