Firstly I think they are eminently sensible questions and its good that you are thinking about this. Secondly I feel you won't get a particularly good, impartial view from an open website like this. Thirdly I'd go to the RN Careers Advice people and see what they say and how they tackle your concerns. But I wouldn't just take that answer, because, afterall, they are part of the recruitment machine. As part of that, you could ask to speak to a RN Chaplain. The chaplaincy organisation within the forces has a pastoral care role and a one-to-one discussion might help. Finally I'd try and find a family friend who is in the RN - ideally at about a Commander level - so a couple of ranks above the level that you would go in at - to ask for an informal discussion about how it worked for them. Good luck, BM.