Silent Treatment

[jess131]

I have been seeing a guy for 18 months. Both early 60's. Straight from the off he inundated me with presents. We mainly see each other at weekends, he stays at mine as he lives in his sons house since splitting withhis ex 4 years ago.In the last 6 months I have noticed a difference in him. He sulks when on the very rare occassion I cant see him for a night, I then get the silent treatment and this is happening more and more. Christmas time he ignored me for 3 days prior to me going out with a girlfriend, then on the day I was out with her sent me some awful text messages. This has happened about 4 times since then. The last time was 2 weeks ago, brought on as my friend who is going through a bad time stayed at mine for the weekend. he still sayed at mine and we went out just the 2 of us on the saturday night. He was very quiet whilst we were out. Whilst we were out I accidently stepped on an older guys foot in the pub and they guy joked i broke his foot, there was abit of banter between us, nothing flirty.  Sunday morning out of the blue my boyfriend said 'who was the guy who slapped your backside?' I hadnt a clue what he was on about then it registered 'the man whose foot I stepped on!' He 100% did not touch let alone slap me. But my bf was adamant that he did. I asked if that was the case why didnt he say something last night, all I got was, 'oh now you are turning it round on me and calling me a liar'!! He was venemous. This was the last straw and I told him we needed a break. I honestly couldnt take any more.  After an hour he packed his stuff and left. I knw it was the right thing to do but I do love and miss him. Stupid I know. After a week I stupdily sent him a text basically saying how much he had hurt me and I saw a side I didnt like but I am prepared to talk about it. Surprisingly he has read it but chosen to ignore me. Now I feel like I have given him the upper hand again. He hasnt deleted me from social media but I now think I should delete his number and take him off social media and leave him as my past. I just wish I hadnt text him.

[naomi24]

He's fond of the silent treatment so my choice would be to let him wallow in it - permanently.  He has no respect for you.  'Love' you'll get over.  Move on.

[maggiebee]

Sorry to say he sounds quite controlling. Will the situation improve or are you happy for the relationship to continue as it is now?  Only you can decide what to do but in your shoes I would walk away. 

[brainiac]

Typical controlling behaviour: lovebombing, then sulking when he doesn't get his own way, as in the current storyline of Tom and Belle in Emmerdale.  Get rid, he'll never change.

[andy-hughes]

He's a control freak.

Walk away.

[Cloverjo]

You did the right thing. Move on.
My husband does this kind of thing and it's horrible. 

[jess131]

Thanks everyone. I have now deleted him from my social media. I have done a lot of googling on silent treatment, passive aggresive, and he is just that. Lovely guy when he gets his own way, but the slightest thing to interfere with his plans which stops him seeing me then this happens. No more!

[naomi24]

Good girl!  You're worth more than that.  Happy onwards to you!

[davebro3]

👍

[barry1010]

You've had a lucky escape.  It doesn't matter if he thinks he has the upper hand, you can put that right if he contacts you again.

Behaviour like this only gets worse the longer it goes on.  The longer it goes on the harder it would be to leave him.

Deep breath, shrug your shoulders and enjoy your freedom 

[cassa333]

Run, Run for the hills.

He is gaslighting you and you are falling into a controlled relationship. 
 

Just because you are in your 60s doesn't mean there isn't someone else better suited to you. No one is better than a bad one.
 

My question would be... why is he divorced???