low self esteem

[pollycupcake]

I have a lovely friend, but she has very low self esteem. No matter what I say to her, she laughs it off. Saying I am just "being kind" She is funny, kind and a sweet person. How else can I help her? Running out of ways to convince her. But want to help. But am a bit of a loss now. All help appreciated. Pol xx

[ELVIS68]

How about you stop mentioning it to her?.... just a thought

[jeanette1976]

I have a mate like that, who keeps saying things like she wished she was more like me in every way and other silly things like that. And she keeps putting herself down, even though she's one of the most intelligent and lovely people I know.

I would never normally do this but in the end, I got so annoyed with her that I blew my top and told her to just shut up... and told her exactly what I thought.... stuff that had been building up for ages... she still lacks a huge amount of confidence, but at least she doesn't ever mention it to me again!!!

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind!

Sorry if this doesn't help! X

[jeanette1976]

I'd just like to add that we're still good mates... just ionn case you think we fell out!

I'm not a bad person really, hehehehehe!

[kaylamay]

I agree with elvis. stop mentioning it as that kind of friendship is exhausting and draining. Or, next time you compliment her and she says you are just being kind, say yes, but i would still just say thank you if someone complimented me. Just be yourself and stop appointing yourself her helper. Be yourself and maybe your attitude and self confidence will rub off on her in time. You can also tell her straight out that her attitude hurts you and maybe she will stop before you get tired of it all and stop handing around her. Hey you could always use her words against her and when she conmiments you say, "oh, you're just being kind" i bet she catches on.
Mikala

[pollycupcake]

Hi and thanks for your replies. Elvis and Kay, I actually dont keep mentioning it to her, she just keep putting herself down, and pointing out the negatives. Thats when I say You are Great etc etc.

Thanks jeanette, have sometimes felt like shouting at her in pure fustration. But she is so sweet.

Maybe next time she starts putting herself down, I will ignore and hope that works. Pol xx