fraud

[red poppy]

my wife and i have been accused of taking 15.000 pounds out of my mothers bank account but the truth is she has the on set of dementia at 75 years old.she had this money from her house sale but she has spent it and given nearly 7.000 away to friends and family but cannot remember doing this and now blames us for taking it what can we do we have proof of where she has spent it but are concerned about all this and its tearing the family to bits.

[steve2010]

if you have the proof of where the money has gone,which i assume is bank statements,then you have no problem,just show the interested parties the papers,i had this with my mum,she said money was missing,but i had it all written down with receipts and bank stubs etc.

[red poppy]

thanks steve for your reply she gave us her bank card for us to get money out 200 pound at a time we gave her her card plus receipt back she was with us when we did this as she is not confident of using atms .Her stepson has got involved he is 65 we asked him for help because we have 3 children and the stress on us was immense i was being called out at all times of the night to look for items she had mislaid keys ,purse,hambag etc so rang him for some support but he now thinks that we have had her money they are in dealings with her solicitor.its all madness the whole thing i have not seen or heard from my mother for over 8 weeks now and am at a loss we dont know who to turn to for advice.

[Law Man1856]

Hi poppy,

Do you have the same GP or know your mothers GP well?

He/ she will have full knowledge of your mothers condition and can confirm any dementia if this ends up in court.

To withdraw �15,000 at �200 a time would indicate a long time period and as you state you were in control of the card and pin number as your mother was unwilling/ unable to operate the ATM.

Maybe call a meeting of the whole family to discuss/ explain these issues and arrange the required health and welfare treatment for your mother, this seems the major issue not the money.

If this does go the court route this could prove expensive and put your mother and all the family members through a often very stressful process.

Health and wellbeing must come first.

[red poppy]

Thanks law man my mother has a different gp than me we tried to contact him as well as social services for her care but they told us it wasnt our place to interfere and data protection act came into force so we have our hands tied its all a mess really she gave me and my wife money the sum of about 6.000 and gave family members some cheques .we told her to be careful with her cash but said it was hers to do what she wanted with.The trouble is that her stepson cannot believe that she has spent it all and thinks we have had it all.we have proof that she has spent it so we are awaiting solicitors letters at the moment on her next move but all the stress and worry is making us ill.once again thanks for your advice.

[WendyS]

I recommend you talk quickly to a solicitor and your mother's GP and considering obtaining an Enduring Power of Attorney for your mother. This is a legal device which will enable you to have lawful authoritity for the control of her affairs if she is becoming incapable of looking after them for herself.. I think you really need some legal advice, because if she is becoming incapable of caring for herself and needs to go into residential care, Social Services could claim that she has divested herself from the proceeds of the sale of her house to avoid having to pay for her care. This is a very difficult subject but it seems clear from what you have said that somebody needs to take control of your mother's affairs quite soon, and have the legal authority to do so to avoid family disputes in the future. If a family member doesn't take control of her affairs it's possible that Public Guardianship might have to kick in. This is where State officials will take over your mother's affairs. Also, if you need to take over responsibility for your mothers finances, the Benefits Agency, banks, building societies may not recognise you acting on her behalf unless you have Power of Attorney and then things will become in a even greater mess. More than once individual can have Power of Attorney and you can operate jointly or individually but obviously you must be able to agree on how her affairs are handled.

[red poppy]

thanks wendy for your advice we have consulted a solicitor and are not entitled to legal aid and cannot afford a solicitor i have not seen or spoken to my mother now for 8 weeks after being told to keep away the doctor wont give me any details about her health and social services wont do anything unless my mother becomes a threat to her self or others so i am stuck at moment dont know what to do next.

[WendyS]

I'm not sure what is preventing you from seeing your mother but this situation does need to be resolved. Does she have any other children who could possible take out a Power of Attorney for her. If her mental health deteriorates to the point where she is a danger to herself Social Services will take action. If there is nobody else to take control I think you will probably have to take the bull by the horns, get Power of Attorney drawn up and encourage her to sign it, showing her the receips for past misunderstood expenses she had fogotten about. Explain that having somebody with legal powers to help her manage her finances will stop all the family wrangling. If she refuses to sign, explain that if she becomes more forgetful and a family member doesn't have the legal power to handle her affairs, Social Services will appoint a State official to do it.

[red poppy]

thanx again the reason that myself and my wife are not speaking to my mother is because she has told us to stay away and not see her she doesnt want us near her she has told the rest of the family we have stolen her money and they all believe her so no other members of my side of the family are speaking to me either the doctor wont help social services wont help and we are at a loss she will nver sign power of attorney to me

[Stu Dent]

Red Poppy,

if you do not qualify for legal aid and cannot afford a solicitor, you may be able to get help from a university law clinic if one is near you. Many law schools in England have law clinics staffed by students and supervised by lecturers. Perhaps they could help? Do a net search for law clinics near your locus. Best of luck, I feel very sorry for you being in such a terrible position of knowing you have done no wrong but have to prove this to those you are closest to.

[red poppy]

had a reply from solicitor on friday my mother and stepson have stopped all proceedings against us for no apparent reason thanks to all who offered advice.