making first move

[wendilla]

I am in mid 60's and about 17 years ago was engaged but as I had not long been divorced I could not settle and broke it off.During this last year I have spoke to him a few times met him mostly at the supermarket.I know that he isn't with anyone and didn't even after we split up.I feel I would like to take up the friendship again but I am not quite sure how to go about it .I am not lonely but just feel I would like to get together again with him. but don't want to make a fool of myself.Thanks for any suggestions.

[havinmysay]

are u after a friendship or relationship either way youve nothing to lose, tell him straight how much you've missed him and how much you value his friendship no need to rush in to things just take one day at a time

i wish you all the luck x

[wendilla]

Thanks for your reply.It would be a friendship as I don,t think I could have someone live with me as I been too long on my own.But one never knows.I can't say I missed him as I did go out with someone else but that ended a few years ago.The problem was with the person concerned he wanted to get married and settle down but I wasn't ready

[maggie01]

Could you not ask him round for a meal. Nothing special and see how it goes. Life is too short. Go for it.

[Carakeel]

Wendilla, why not just phone him and tell him you think it would be nice to perhaps catch up over a meal or a drink . Be open and honest about your life now, but try not to make him feel under any obligation or pressure. Just see how it goes. There is nothing wrong with you approaching him, unless you know that he is in a relationship, in which case your approach would of course be totally inappropriate.
As for not wanting to get into anything more than friendship because you have been alone too long - I stayed on my own for 20 (my own choice) after my husband left because I was diagnosed with Cancer. I learned to be really happy on my own and had no intention of letting anyone change that, so didn't date or even go out to lunch with anyone. Then I met the most wonderful man through our mutual interest in art and he managed to allay my fears about letting someone into my life again. We have been together for 2 years this month and living together for about 17 months. We have never had a cross word, have total respect for each other as individuals and a beautiful strong love that has very recently carried us through some very difficult times.
So please, don't shut yourself away from life! Live it! You age plays no role. We can find true love and happiness at any age and when we do, we should cherish it and nurture it. So go for it and call him. Don't spend the rest of your life wishing you had! Best wishes to you. I hope next Valentines Day finds you and your friend happily reunited and who knows ... perhaps in love? :o)

[wendilla]

hello maggie thanks for your reply.yes when I next see him I will .and bye the way how are the weding plans for your daughter going it wont be long now soon comes round.

[wendilla]

carakeel thanks for your reply.yes i can understand what you are telling me.I cant phone as I don't know number and not in book but he is regular at supermarket so I am going to take the plunge and ask if he would like to come over for a meal You sound really happy .Iam not against a relationship will just see what happens.Thanks