Pesky ducks

[flip101]

I have a problem with a couple of ducks who have made a home on my pond. Nice as they are, they are a pest and cause a lot of mess. Does anyone know of a way of dettering them from a garden?

[heathfield]

Borrow a dog that likes to chase ducks?

[dilligaf]

Your local Chinese take away may be interested.

[Toleman]

Have you seen the P.I.R water things you plug into the hose and when there is a cat it squirts them. Not sure it would work for ducks though. lol. How about catch them and take them somewhere, like a local lake or 100 miles away?

I take it you don't want to hurt them?!

[flip101]

My girlfriend says we have to do it without harming them, which is a bit of a shame as I do like crispy duck

[McNoodle]

Damn girlfriends - always interfering in what could be some fun!!

[woodchopper]

Hire Elmer Fudd for a day.

[scotchollie]

Ring the RSPCA. Tell them that your girlfriend has given you until Monday to sort the problem out or she's taking the ducks down to the Royal Blossom Restaurant.

As a God fearing and law abiding citizen, you couldn't possibly allow that to happen, so please can they come and rescue the poor creatures from your pond.

With any luck Rolf Harris will come too with a film crew and you might get on the telly.

[scotchollie]

But do ring the RSPCA!

They'll pick 'em up for you.

[chimpanzee]

Oh come on, don't be such a grump!

Let them in your pond - what's the harm?! Plus it'll make there day, you can even adopt them as pets. Donald and daisy, don't be so tight by pushing them out of a home.

[spudmuffa]

Good question. A shotgun is always a useful deterrent. Hope this helps.

[flip101]

The stupid thing is the Avon is not that far away, surely that would be preferable.