Me Confused

[Rosenicola]

Hi Guys,

I have a bit of a situation.

I split with my ex of 5 years last year because we were arguing over silly things and he was pressurising me into doing things I wasn't ready for i.e. moving out and renting a property and it was causing a lot of arguments

He was also quite boring and the only time he ever went out was to get drunk with his friends even though when we first met he wasn't like this. Any time I mentioned doing anything with me he was either skint or didn't want to. When we were going to try again at Xmas he said he would change and stuff and i really believed he would as he was so adamant to get me back.

We tried again at Xmas and I changed my mind about trying as I was scared of the same thing happening all over again. He says he still loves me and i do care for him a lot.
We have kept in touch as friends, but last night I had a dream that he was with someone else. This someone else is a girl who has been trying to get with him for the last 5 years and the thought of them two together really sickens me. Maybe jealousy, I'm not sure. But she is still trying to get with him now and he likes her too, but said he wouldn't get with her as she sleeps around a lot.

Now I can't stop thinking of him. Is this jealousy or is there a part of me that still wants him. I'm so mixed up and don't want to make the wrong decisions again as it's hurting PPL's feelings. I know this sounds selfish, but i can't help thinking maybe it's worth another try.

Any advice xx

[Rosenicola]

Think i posted this in the wrong part - I didn't see relationships and dating part - Oops :-)

[4getmenot]

its jelousy, you didnt want him no matter how he wanted to try, but you dont want anyone else to have him either. Either get back with him and try or leave him to get on with his life, its only fair

[Rosenicola]

I know. I don't want you to think i'm one of these stupid woman that thrives on attention, cos i know that posting makes me look like a selfish cow and so cliche how i sound jealous.. (Typical) :-)

Like u said, i need to make my decision. Plus who said he will even get back with me if i tried..

Anyway, thanks for the advice...

xx

[4getmenot]

but thats just it at least tou know you've tried :-) I'm sure we've all seen an ex and had second thoughts about them when seeing them happy with someone else. But you obviously arent together for a reason.

[Rosenicola]

I'm just so poo with my decisions. I can never make my mind up and leave people hanging in the balance and i know full well it isn't fair..

Just don't know what to suggest for myself.. I'm sure it'll work itself out.. PPL on the outside are better at advising.. nso that's why i am asking PPL's thoughts.

xx

[4getmenot]

I can only say that not being able to make you mind up could be your downfall. And I�m not meaning to sound harsh but you shouldn�t expect people to wait around while you make up your mind. I�m saying this coz I�m with someone new now after my ex mucking me about and not wanting to settle and now he tells me all the time he isn�t happy and he wants me back but that his own fault as I gave him enough chances.

[Octavius]

It seems to me that you have already made the decision that this relationship wasn�t right for you. The impression that I get from your post is that it wouldn�t be right whether he remained celibate and single for the rest of his life and doted on you from afar. Nevermind being with someone else.

Its jealousy. It might be hard to accept that he may find love in someone else other than you and be the perfect partner for them. But he wasn�t perfect for you, so you need to let it go let him move on and move on yourself.

[Rosenicola]

I love how you're all so sympathetic - LOL

[4getmenot]

if sympathy what you're after you're on wrong website :-) lol, we're just saying it as we see it. xx

[joannie10]

you refer to the guy as boring - of course everyone is different and what is boring to one is not to another but if you find him like that you definately should not get back to him. There are reasons why you split up, you tried again and still did not work so wont if you try again on a further occasion. As been said already it is feelings of jealousy but they will pass in time. Does not mean you want to be with him really.