children's poetry

[macpark]

I am looking for an amusing poem of about 2 - 3 minutes in length for my daughter to recite in a school public speaking competition. The theme is "Change" !
Not entirely obvious. It can be prose or poetry but amusing seems to go down well. I have already got a couple of extracts from Alice in Wonderland which are excellent but not out and out funny.

Any ideas anyone?

[Clanad]

See if this works:

Scrawny Tawny Skinner

Scrawny little Tawny Skinner
could not, would not, eat her dinner.
Though her parents begged and pleaded,
Tawny would not sit and eat it.

They tried forcing, they tried coaxing;
Tawny said "I feel like chokesing!
I'm so full, my stomach hurts.
I think I should eat dessert!"

She would not eat lima beans;
she would not eat spinach greens.
She would not eat baby peas;
she would not eat cottage cheese.

Pushing food around her plate,
she said, "Look how much I ate!"
But no scrap of food got in her,
Tawny would not eat her dinner.

She would not eat mashed potatoes,
Brussels sprouts or sliced tomatoes.
She would not eat chicken legs,
hot roast beef or deviled eggs.

Tawny closed her mouth up tight,
and would not eat a single bite.
Every minute she grew thinner,
Scrawny little Tawny Skinner.

She would not eat pizza pie;
no baked beans, not one french fry.
Though she was quite thin and bony,
she would not eat macaroni!

What came next, I hate to repeat,
could happen to you if you don't eat.
Just what all her family feared--
she grew so thin she disappeared.

And though she was hungry an hour later,
they could not find her to reinflate her.
So next time you don't want your dinner
think of scrawny Tawny Skinner.

Author: Kenn Nesbitt
I see he's British and it's from his website, but contained in a small book our kids like...

[08012006]

This verse by Ogden Nash augments Saint Saens' "Carnival of the Animals - Fossils" which features the xylophone to mimic rattling bones

It amuses me and most people who hear it, but is shorter than you mention, but could be an encore.

Last night in the museum hall
The fossils gathered for a ball
There were no drums or saxophones,
But just the clatter of their bones,
A rolling, rattling, carefree circus
Of mammoth polkas and mazurkas.
Pterodactyls and brontosauruses
Sang ghostly prehistoric choruses.
Amid the mastodontic wassail
I caught the eye of one small fossil.
Cheer up, sad world, he said, and winked-
It's kind of fun to be extinct.

[JK2]

Another Kenn Nesbitt poem about Jessica Jean

We planted some beans in our garden in class,
along with some peppers and pumpkins and grass.
We planted them neatly in straight little rows.
But Jessica Jean stuck her bean up her nose.

She did it discreetly, not making a peep.
She pushed with her pinky and poked it in deep,
then kept it a secret, so no one would know.
But, meanwhile, her bean was beginning to grow.

It popped out a leaf on the tiniest stalk.
It grew and unfolded and caused her to squawk,
then rapidly blossomed, becoming a vine,
while Jessica Jean was beginning to whine.

It quickly expanded to cover her lips.
It grew on her shoulders, her elbows, and hips.
It bloomed on her body and covered her clothes,
completely encasing her down to her toes.

It looped on her ankles, engulfing her feet,
cocooning her knees, and obscuring her seat,
concealing her up past the top of her chest,
her arms and her hands and then all of the rest.

And that was the last that has ever been seen
or heard of the student named Jessica Jean.
So always remember to plant them in rows,
and never, don�t ever, put beans in your nose.

[macpark]

All great poems but they have to conform to the theme CHANGE and I don't quite see the connection with any of these.

[Eurydice]

Change in Aunt's opinion of niece:

Matilda told such dreadful lies,
It made one gasp and stretch one's eyes;
Her aunt, who, from her earliest youth,
Had kept a strict regard for truth,
Attempted to believe Matilda:
The effort very nearly killed her,
And would have done so, had not she
Discovered this infirmity.
For once, towards the close of day,
Matilda, growing tired of play
And finding she was left alone,
Went tiptoe to the telephone
And summoned the immediate aid
Of London's noble Fire-Brigade.
Within an hour the gallant band
Were pouring in on every hand,
From Putney, Hackney Downs and Bow,
With courage high and hearts a-glow
They galloped, roaring though the town,
"Matilda's house is burning down"
Inspired by British cheers and loud
Proceeding from the frenzied crowd,
They ran their ladders through a score
Of windows on the ball-room floor;
And took peculiar pains to souse
The pictures up and down the house,
Until Matilda's aunt succeeded
In showing them they were not needed
And even then she had to pay
To get the men to go away!
. . . . .
It happened that a few weeks later
Here aunt was off to the Theatre
To see that interesting play
The Second Mrs Tanqueray.
She had refused to take her niece
To hear this entertaining piece:
A deprivation just and wise
To punish her for telling lies.
That night a fire did break out-
You should have heard Matilda shout!
You should have heard her scream and bawl,
And throw the window up and call
To people passing in the street-
(The rapidly increasing heat
Encouraging her to obtain
Their confidence)-but all in vain!
For every time she shouted "Fire!"
They only answered "Little Liar!

[Eurydice]

For every time she shouted "Fire!"
They only answered "Little Liar!"
And therefore when her aunt returned,
Matilda, and the house, were burned

Matilda, (Who told Lies, and was Burned to Death).
By Hilaire Belloc

I learned this at school when I was of primary school age, an d it didn't scar me.
I usually recite it during the 2 minutes while I have my hair conditioner on.

[JK2]

macpark
Jessica Jean's bean changed into a plant which engulfed her until she couldn't be seen so you could say that she changed into a plant.

Also in the eatlier poem about Tawny Skinner she changed becoming thinner & thinner until she disappeared.

Perhaps you have a fixed idea about what the title Change means - in which case we are unlikely to be able to help unless you give us a clue of which way you are reading the meaning of the title.