Can they?

[Rubyrose]

Is it true that men and women can't be friends or is it just those who judge that put that burden on that friendship?

[4getmenot]

I care for all my mates but I dont fancy them

[Rubyrose]

Lmao at Wigglebum!

Well I can tell you now, I don't fancy that courier! Lol

You're right to some extent that everyone is a friend but it doesn't mean you 'know them'.. sometimes you can know someone for years and chat to them now and then and then oneday 'really' get to know them and see them totally differently!

[wigglebum]

I think I'm drunk

[wigglebum]

Oh the courier Ruby, no I don't think it's going to work as friends or anything - Maybe a caring restraining order!!

[Rubyrose]

I think you could be on to something there Wiggle... Lol

[cyanide]

My best friend is a bloke,we`ve been mates for about 35 years and the thought of anything sexual makes us gag!It`d be almost incest!!His wife is cool about our friendship and he was my witness when i got married.I love him :-)

[browneyedgir]

Wouldn't completely agree with the idea that you can't be mates if one of you fancies the other one. One of my mates "D" has told all our friends he fancies me and sometimes says it when he and I are out and drunk but he has never tried anything on (I don't fancy him at all but love him to bits as he is so funny) and we have never had a serious sober discussion about it. Recently he told another of our friends that he can't see us ever getting together but that he would rather have me in his life as a mate than nothing at all. Our friendship has not changed since all of this came about whatsoever.

[4getmenot]

no but thats no being JUST mates, he fancies you

[wigglebum]

Oh I agree

I do have a male friend, that told me if I was single, he was single blah blah but we're still great friends and I think most people know that he likes me even Hubby but we'd never do any about it, well maybe in my dreams ;o) Not really!!

[browneyedgir]

But he knows it will never go anywhere. He dates ocassionally, I have a boyf I have been with for 9 months, D and boyf are mates. Me and D phone each other often and meet down my local for a few drinks every so often. I don't feel our relationship as mates is threatened at all by him fancying me and he doesn't see me not fancying him as a threat to us being mates so I can't see the harm in it.

[Rubyrose]

It's about knowing where to draw that line! I have had male friends who I have had slight crushes on and if they came to me and asked me for advice on something to do with a girlfriend... I would give the best advice I could... as if giving it to a female friend! Its about being a caring friend... I think if you can do that with someone you fancy then the friendship is definately there and the fact that you know how to draw the line and put your friends happiness before you own, shows that men and women can be friends even if you do have a crush on them!

If you are willing to jeopardise the example is void as you can't really be friends as you wouldn't do that to a female friend!

[jump82]

Ummm... flirting with a married man though..., can you see why other people may have ''trust'' issues around You though?

[Champagne]

I don't swing that way, pa__ul. Sorry to disappoint.

[Rubyrose]

Who has trust issues around me?
I would NEVER do anything with a friends man... whether I fancied him or not... it would never be worth it.... NEVER.... even if the relationship may last a lifetime... the friendship would always last longer!

[jump82]

I thought your motto was 'never say never' ....

[Le Chat]

In my experience, I would say that a male and female can be friends yes, but the male would quite happily have sex with the female given half a chance! Unless they used to go out with each other in the past and have got all that out of the way.
Also, and most importantly, a man's first priority is always to his male friends, not his female friend.
Take note.

[Carakeel]

Apart from my darling RATTER who is the closest male in my life and shares my life with me, my best friend for over 25 years is a young man of nearly 40, an actor/ singer / songwriter and superb musician, and married. His beautiful young wife and I are also close friends. So yes, men and women can be the closest of friends under the right circumstances and as long as each respects the other's partners and life.

[Rubyrose]

I think to really answer this Q, I think everyone needs to watch 'When Harry Met Sally'!