Ladies does your man refuse to take you out for the evening?

[zingara]

what do the ladies think to this? my boyfreind is going out tonight, I suggested that he could have told me earlier and I could have arranged a babysitter, we could have gone out together. it's a work leaving do. He became angry, said I always complain when he goes out (i do, tho' he rarely says he wants to go out) I have no problem him going out at all, it's just he never takes me out, except the last 2 christmases we went to 3 of his work nights out. I have always turned my friends down because I preferd to go out with my boyfriend. during my previous relationship of 13 years, my ex and I never had a social life together due to his unsocial job (restaurant, unsocial for us) I thought it would be different this time around but seems not. we go out for rides in the car during the day which is nice but he announced yesterday that he doesn't like taking women out. I didn't want to go out every week just the occassional treat would've been nice. He said I have stopped him doing everything. doesn't sound like a very healthy happy relationship does it? we have a young child otherwise I would be saying 'ta ta' to this bloke any way ladies are any of you in the same predicament? Cindrella

[Romeo]

What a bounder! The fellow sounds like an absolute cad!

Seriously though, you must persuade him to sit down and have a serious talk. Make a cup of tea for both of you, don't have an alcoholic drink or it could turn into a terrible row or one of you will storm off in the huff. Try to keep calm and try to refrain from raising your voice. He has to be made aware of the effect he is having on you or he will never change, and the problem must be nipped in the bud before it gets worse.

You are right when you say it doesn't sound like a happy relationship, and I don't blame you for wanting to say ta-ta. to him, but it shows you are a good mother for wanting to stay together for the child's sake, and it sounds like you are made of stronger stuff than you may think.

Good luck.

[rasmus]

Hi Zingara,Firstly,i think he`s got you right where he wants you.As for "taking you out",you take dogs out,not people.
You need some female friends.Join some groups even if its mother & toddler or similar,you`ll be meeting other people.And just because you have a child it doesn`t mean you have to stay in this relationship.You`re obviously unhappy so now is the time to do something about it.What about your parents?You need to talk to somebody.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi zingara

I think next time you get invited out by your friends you should go and sod him.

How come he just suddenly announces he doesn't like taking woman out? What's that all about?
Sounds like he still want's a social life with the good little woman at home looking after his child and the house and doesn't want to show appreciation or love by taking his girlfriend out once in a while. Bit of a cop out.
With a young child together it is more important than ever that you spend time on your own with a night out or a weekend away for a special anniversary, otherwise what's the point in being together if you don't spend time together? Going for drives out in the car isn't spending quality time together either.

As others have said above you need to sit down and talk, explain you don't expect to go out once a week and that once a month, or couple of months (or for birthdays) would be lovely, say that you would actually probably be more happy for him to go to these works do's on his own if he did take you out.

You've already said that you would be saying ta ta to him if it wasn't for your child so why spend your life in an unhappy relationship when your child will probably inevitably suffer too.

If this was me I would question why all of a sudden he has announced there is a works do, obviously not intending for me to go, and a leaving do on a Sunday? Haven't they all got work tomorrow?