settling in

[happytohelp]

hey need some advice, my best friend in the world and i are atthe same uni. We are staying in halls where there are few guys soheb is forced to always be with me and females. He is starting to find it realy hard and i can see now much it is affecting him. ifeel so helpless, he is not one for talking boutnthigs and i cant force it out of him, but im feeling ill with worry, i want him to settle in and be happy so bad. anyone got any cheering up tips??????

[Longman]

Hey there, I'm guessing you're both in your first year as your in halls and that you've only just started uni. I won't give you the usual stuff about how quickly you'll all settle in (seem to remember it got kinda tedious a coupla years back!) Having said that neither of you have been at uni very long and theres every chance that your friend is just having a little difficulty adjusting to a new pace of life. It may not have much to do with the fact he's in a flat full of girls (hopefully he'll realise just how lucky he is!) as i'm guessing he probably gets some male company from his coursemates In terms of settling-in tips, its a bit hard to know what to recommend as everyone has a different 'comfort zone'. You could suggest joining a club or society you're both interested in (can be a bit daunting joining one on your own). Basically though try to drag him out socialising as much as possible (even when hes not to sure if he wants to). The more people he meets and the less time he has to dwell on the fact hes not really enjoying himself the better (at least for the first month or so. Its still early days yet so don't fret to much. HAVE FUN! thats what the first year at unis all about! Hope things work out ok

[Scarlett]

I think he needs to join one of the many societies available!! He could join a sporty one, which may be male-dominated, then he can make some new male buddies. Above all, don't worry. The first few weeks are always tricky, but in a few months you will both have loads of new friends, and may not even see that much of each other!! Good luck x

[georgit79]

What course is he on? Is it mostly girls too? If not, then I'd suggest that he gets more involved with the social side of his course (organising pi**-ups, that sort of thing), and if he's at all sporty, joining a club is a good idea. If he's not good enough for the uni sports teams, then your hall should have them too. I'd suggest if he joins a club or something, he does it by himself. You're great friends, but maybe he needs to do something where you're not involved. If he's chucked in alone at the deep end, he'll have to talk to people!

[Snappy]

which uni r u at?