New Chelsea manager

[Zen]

Chelsea fans were left aghast today as the club announced that the previously untested Russell Grant would be taking charge of first team affairs in time for this weekend's game at Manchester United.

The rotund astrologer found himself appointed Chelsea's Director of Football during the summer after a successful spell as Roman Abramovich's personal diviner and advisor. While critics of recent changes at the club had claimed that Grant's initial appointment was simply a case of the chairman taking too great a hand in footballing matters, developments today indicate a distinct lack of direction.

While the outgoing Jose Mourinho's supporters have remained tight-lipped about the appointment, insiders at Chelsea sympathetic to the Special One have suggested off the record that Russell Grant's appointment is less about football, and more about divining exactly when foreign imports Andriy Shevchenko and Michael Ballack are going to start earning their wages.

http://newsbiscuit.com/

[laurence2]

If your going to tell a joke, try making it funny.

I've got a sense of humour, but this one borders on really boring.

Now would you like to hear some liverpool or manure jokes?

They are a few years old but they are classic's pmsl

[Panic Button]

A much better joke wasa given by jimmysipples in Sports AB:

Chelsea have launched a new aftershave range called 'the special one' by u go boss

[Zen]

In a shock move, Jose Mourinho has agreed to lead the Liberal Democrats. A spokesman for the party stated 'We've been quietly looking for a while now for a new leader for the party. We were told that Jose creates a defensive, boring team with few ideas and the likelihood of doing worse and worse every year and we thought, he's our man!' When asked to comment on the new role, the Lib Dem leader shrugged, muttered something incoherent and wandered off