Is it too much to ask to expect some romance....?

[parkers]

I have been with the boyf for nearly 3 yrs now and have never been happier....
We have our own house and have a comfortable living...
My problem is this -
My boyf has never, ever, surprised me with anything.... Every restaurant that we have been to I have booked, every holiday that we have been on I have booked, every weekend away, I have booked, even when we have been out for my bday or valentine's day he says "you book it babe and I'll pay" ! I've had flowers a few times, which I really love and he knows it...
Is this something that I am going to have to just deal with?
It's my 30th in a few weeks and I know that he will not have arranged anything... He has already said "If you want to go away for your birthday just book it"...!!!
It's his bday 2 weeks after mine and I have already booked a weekend away - flights, beautiful hotel, champagne in the room the lot....
I would be over the moon to just come home from work one night and there be a bath run for me, or a glass of wine waiting, or a meal cooked for me - anything...!!
I have tried mentioning this and he just dismisses it everytime....
I feel that I am completely taken for granted...
He will only tell me that he loves me or that I look nice when he has had a drink... So that hurts as well...

x

[Kleiber]

I know how you feel, parkers, but it sounds to me like your fella really cares about you, even though he doesn't show it much. My first husband used to do all the "romantic" things - flowers, chocs, cook dinner etc, but he was a serial womaniser, who had a string of affairs throughout the 4 years we were together. My second husband, bless him, wasn't romantic in the sense of the word (he once bought me a compost bin for my birthday!! Fair play, though, I did want one!). The only time I got flowers was when our son was born. But, and this is a big "but" - he was 100% faithful, didn't go out & get drunk (we went together & got drunk... well, not much,!!) and was the kindest man I ever knew. Only once did he surprise me, with a lovely present, totally out of the blue. He did tell me he loved me, though, loads of times. Men are strange creatures - they say they can never work us girls out, but they're a lot harder to understand! Knock his socks off & propose to him - what have you got to lose? Of course, you'll end up booking the wedding etc yourself..... K xx

[parkers]

Hello everyone....

Thank you so much for all your thoughts...
It has really made me think and I have taken in everything..

I had a huge shock when I got in from work last night...
The hoover was out as he had hoovered downstairs, I could also smell food... looked in the kitchen and there were 2 homemade lasagne's on the side waiting to go in the oven.... so just as you said garry745 I really made a point of thanking him and telling him what a wonderful surprise it was - I think he was really chuffed with himself.. and he cleared the plates afterwards...
I was baffled...
So, I think in his own little way he was making an effort..

Pippa68 - you are so right, he has found it really hard to trust me and doesn't want to let his barriers down due to his past experiences of women.... so I still make sure I tell him how much I love him and his daughter and how happy I am.. and then just mention that I also need to know how he feels...
I'm sure we'll be ok, we just all need a little reassurance...

Kleiber - I did say that I will propose to him and he quickly said that it's the man's job, so you never know he may have a little something up his sleeve...

Thank you all again xx

[Kleiber]

Good luck, lass! Keep us posted. K xx

[Pippa68]

Oh that's marvellous!

Yes, please keep us posted ~ I am sure your relationship will go from strength to strength :o)

[Elizabeth ll]

lol lol, I think it must be a male thing, guys are not that good at organizing surprises, you are doing all the work so why should he make the effort, he has gotten used to you doing it. My advice, stop and make him take the innitiative. Don,t pay so much attention to him and you,ll see that he will notice you more and seek you out. Why should the fox go after the rabbit when the rabbit keeps coming to him.