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Any fathers out there?

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wisewomen | 14:12 Fri 26th Oct 2007 | Family & Relationships
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Was hoping to gain some reactions to the birth of your children.

Were you planning to be a dad? Were you scared how it would change your life? have you put off parenting and now wish you had done it sooner?

Just thought it would be interesting to get a males point of view on the subject as it all appears to revolve around the mother!
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your right it does all revolve around the mother which i find disgusting in this time of equality

i wasn't planning on being a dad but now i am its the most wonderful thing in the world
I`m a father of two boys, both were planned and I wasn`t worried about the change of lifestyle,quite the opposite actually


Oh..... and I was there at both births, got the scars on my hand to prove it
yes and no.

slightly.

i think its behind me now, after a bad experience 2 years ago i dont think ill be a dad again.
tho u never say never.
Planned yes, scared very, maybe but just so I'll still be around when he's older.
I sometimes think how pointless life was before he arrived, but it never felt pointless at the time
I wouldn't have missed the births for anything
It was like all my birthdays, Christmas's, New years, bonfire nights all rolled into one combined with winning every lottery game in the world

We wern't planning on having kids due to my wife being diagnosed with a childhood illness which meant she probably wouldn't be able to conceve so our eldest came as a complete suprise, but a delightful one, my wife was in floods of tears when she told me she was pregnant just as I was when he wqas born, the same when his brother came along 3 years later. They are both a joy, both the same but with diffrent personalities if you know what I mean.
i spent most of the 45 minute birth and about the next 30 mins in total dis-belief with a huge grin on my face

slightly off subject does anyone else think its disgusting that 2 health visitors thought it was weird that i took my son for his jabs while my partner stayed at home ill
I 'inherited' two daughters when my wife and I married, and we planned, and had another daughter.

I was there for her birth, and I am so proud to be the first person to see her enter the world, and knowing her gendr - even as I quickly counted her fingers and toes!

I find fatherhood to be amazing, i woldn;t be without it for the world. I always thought I was hopeless with children, but with a little guidance in the early days, I found out was a natural.

I was put off by my relationship with my dad - I never wanted a child to hate me like i hated him, but my relationship with my girls is the total opposite, I adore them and would do anything for them.

The oldest two are 32 and 30, the youngest is 18, but they are still all my babies, and they can get round me in nothing flat.

I think parenthood is a gift, but not a right - and those of us who are blessed should be grateful that our children are loaned to us for a short time before they become people like us, and go their own way.

Put the foundations of a relationship in as early as you can with your children. Tell them you love them every time you speak to them, and they will reward you with a love that is the most precious in the world.

Its definately a female orientated world out there. Ive had many benefits problems since ive had to take my 9 week daughter full time. Ive even had benefits people say why dont i go back to work. I asked them, would you say that to a mother if she was in my situation. They all said no. People look at you as the provider, the one who goes to work. If you look at the main support groups in this country, they are mostly aimed at women. You are treated alot differently.
I do think fathers who arent with their childs mother are mostly given a bad press. I know there are some out there who dont really care about their kids but I do know that there are many who do. I know alot of friends who have had to go to court to see their kids because the mother used their children to get at them.
All in all, I think its harder to be a father and get the help required than it is to be a mother.
lonedad i think you are right, i am a single mum and i can see that what you say is true. i think what you are doing is amazing, being a single parent isnt easy but it is wonderful. Why should you go back to work, your daughter is so young and she needs you, her dad with her. I would just ignore people with that kind of attitude, you know whats best for your daughter. I hope you have sorted out the money/benefits situation and things are getting a bit easier for you. Take care
andy-hughes
u bought tears to my eyes.
The way you feel is lovely. I love my dad with all my heart.
unfortunately my girls dont know their dad, but i am sure that if they could pick one.. it would be one who sounds like you.
x
I very much second everything Dove has said, you sound like a diamond of a Dad andy -hughes.
Thanks Aims, it has been difficult. Not only with what happened to my ex, being on my own and looking after my daughter and also the benefits thing...I have so much more to deal with. As they say, it never rains but it pours and I guess thats my case at the moment.
Lone: My life has a broad number of drawing pins that mark the most important, memorable, and life-changing events in my life. Among the �gold pins,� the tops are those in celebrating the birth of my children.

Of course I was there. No one could have kept me away. I don�t think the midwifery team, nor the doctors on hand will ever forget my behaviour. I'm not just talking about screaming out the second my son was born �He�s got a willy!� nor the reaction of the team when they entered the birthing pool room at my daughter�s birth, to find me wearing a snorkel and diving mask.

For me, the moment was the celebrating of life�s cycles, the monumental confirmation of a lifetime commitment, and the awesome responsibility we bear to protect, nurture, guide, encourage, educate and inspire our children. From those quarter seconds where my children moved from their protective, loving and life-giving care they received within the womb, to the often daunting and uncertain world in which we live, I knew that we had received blessings beyond our imagination.

Continued:
Part 2

As our children grow, we celebrate their achievements. We mourn their defeats, we share and impart our own successes - and failings - and hopefully, we stand as a beacon of what is right, against a sometimes darkening background of all that is wrong in our world.

I could not be any more proud of my children. They�ve never argued, I�ve never once �told� my children to do anything � I�ve always asked. They are compassionate and polite � so polite, in fact, they still kindly laugh at my jokes, even if they�ve heard them a thousand times.

And just as with anyone who travels the unchartered waters of life, we�ve had our peaks of happiness and our wrenching pits of sorrow. But each of us is able to rest in the knowledge and conviction that we are there for one another and from our experiences we grow.

Was a scared? A resounding �yes!� Would I want it any other way? Absolutely not! And as my children move towards becoming young adults, I often look at them and profess �Thank you for all our blessings.�

http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/search?q =the+book+in+the+attic

Fr Bill
It happened this year for me and I was ready for it.

It was planned, I wasn't scared about any of it and the only reason that we didn't do it sooner is that it didn't happen sooner.

Makes us want more and more.

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