I went to see my Aunt today. She told me that yesterday she asked her husband Charlie to go out into the garden and cut a cabbage for tea. She told me that Uncle Charlie had been gone for about an hour and she started to get worried. She went out into the garden and found him face down in the dirt, stone dead.
"That's awful", I said, "what did you do?"
"Well I had no choice but to open a tin of peas."