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Thanks for all the advice (constructive and destructive), the situation's now resolved, it's all out in the open and she is fine with it - incidentally, he was an "off boyfriend" at the time. I've since decided to remove myself totally from the situation though especially now that the two of them are back together and she's just found out she's pregnant with his baby. Yes I am a bast*rd and probably deserve everything I get - believe me, I know that more than anyone.