im a step dad and need advice

[slimjim69]

Ive been with my wife for almost 4 years now and when we got together I knew her eldest son would be a handfull.

He has been screened for ADHD but they said it wasnt that.

My wife has told me he has been a handfull since he was about 5 he is now 14. We have recently been advised by various people and professionals that, for the younger kids sake (because they are showing signs of distress) and for my wifes health ( she is severly depressed) it would be best to ask social services to re-house him for a period of time so we can sort things out.

Although I agree it would be in the best interests of my wife and the youngest kids, I am starting to feel it might tear him further from us.

He has agreed that it would be best for the family if it gives him time out and if it gives his mum a break.

I have found it hard to form a relationship with him as he has never let me in but i am starting to think that i should make more of and effort and pushed my way in as his dad has never been close to him. He asked me about the RAF tonight because he knew i had been in that service and wanted some advice. I have told him what i know and said i will take him to the careers center soon.

I was brought up by a step dad and i know we had troubles at the start but we got over them and grew into good friends, to the extent that even though him and my mum have split we are going out for a good knees up next week for his 40th.

We are finding it hard to advise him of the people he is hanging out with, he seems to be attracted to kids that seem to always be in trouble.

Can somebody please help!!!!!!

[slimjim69]

Can anyone please tell me how to get the morons who have made vile comments kicked off this site please, and if i can will others back me up.
And thanks to the people who backed me up against these vile people.
Im glad i didnt get to read the message that has been deleted.

[Lindylou]

Poor little kid! Sounds like he's not had much of a life until you came along. He obviously needs love (and lots of it - tough if necessary) and a lot of attention. No wonder your wife is depressed. Can you not sit him down and explain that the future is all up to him? You'll give him all the support (and love) that you can but, he has to make the decision that, in the end, its HIS life. Will he allow what he's suffered to destroy everything he could, in the future, possibly achieve? Let it go, what's gone is gone. Tomorrow is what counts. You are prepared to give him all the love and help that you can. Good luck to you all.

[Dee Sa]

I am not giving any advice but I do hope things get better for you and your family and there is a happy ending.
best wishes
Dee

[Mamjet]

Try and get drugs to calm his criminal behaviour.