ex girlfriend

[vway]

My husbad of 11 years has left me and his 2 children aged 2 and 8 for his ex girlfried who slashed his face with a glass. He for the 11 years we were together called her 'slasher',iam so angry and hurt he left this Jan and now tells me they are in love. How do I get on with my life?

[delbel]

I wish I could say there is a magic pill that takes away the betrayal and hurt that you are feeling at the moment but there isn�t one. I know it is a clich� but time is the greatest healer.

It is difficult because you have had the same life for 11 years and it is hard to envisage a new life. But in reality this man is no good � if he can not only do this to you but to his children this makes him no man at all and you need to tell yourself this and realise that you have had a lucky escape � slasher is welcome to him!! You are still young and can build up a new life.

Now you need to concentrate on your little family unit � you are strong and maybe you cannot see what the future holds at the moment, but keep strong. Maybe do something that you have never done before � learn a new skill, volunteer or even give your place a makeover (out with the old and in with the new!!). If you have family around you lean on them � that is what they are there for; families are a great support system.

The difficulty lies with the children, he is their father not matter how rotten and he does still have a right to see them. Your best bet is to contact Relate, their website is www.relate.org.uk. They can help you manage this breakup in the a way that will have little affect on your children.

Good luck � keep strong!!!!

[beverleymot]

id be more concerned at the mo about having your children around a " slasher"- being in a similar situation myself!!

[vway]

Thank god someone sees the situation the same as I do Beverleymot I thought I was going mad and being stupid I have a solicitor on the case to try to stop the women coming near my children, I will make sure anyway i can they do not meet her I should really of explained that in the beginning, so thankyou for making me realise I'm not just an over protective mother and there are other mums like me

[beverleymot]

you can never be too protective with things like this- i have posted on here a few times about the probs ive had with my sons dads gfriend- she has always been possessive and hates the lack of attention she gets wen my son used to go there. we were in n out of court for 15 months as i wasn't happy with the situation and wen i gave them the chance to have my son at their house she ended up hitting him and throwing an aerosol can at him. i would never let him go back there until they split up as i couldn't live with myself for puttin my son back in that situation. I just hope one day his dad realises all the precious time he has lost out on- as he gets a lot of hassle and abuse off her too

[vway]

Beverleymot I do not know your situation but I hope you will keep in touch if you need to.

[beverleymot]

course i will- and keep me updated as to how things go too-

[888sally888]

vway - you can do better than this weak man. As the others have said, make sure this 'woman' doesnt have any contact with your children. You are not over reacting.

Good luck for the future x

[vway]

My ex is trying to tell me she has changed and it was all an accident, and if the shoe was on the other foot he would have no problem with his children meeting my partner ,for 11 years he told friends and family she was evil and visious but now he loves her, he told my 8 year old he would not have to meet her but has now changed his mind, what about the 2 year old,she is 31 never been married and no children what will she do when they wont sleep give her cheek or stop them going out for a night I'm so worried,

[888sally888]

Take action NOW and get some legal advice. Your children are too young to decide whether or not to see him so its up to you to protect them.

Easy for him to say he wouldnt have a problem with you being with MR slasher!

All you are doing is being an excellent mother and putting them first x

[vway]

Thanks for your support,I really don't understand why women like BEVERLEYMOT and I have to let our ex's put our children in a situation that could be harmful the facts are quite clear when men leave their families they think they can do as they please! I just hope nothing happens and I'm left saying I told you so when it's too late.

[beverleymot]

what do his side of the family think of her?

[vway]

Hi Beverleymot how are you? In the past when she has come up in conversation his father has always said she was a volatile young lady, and was always aware of the fact that my ex had said the act of slashing his face was done on purpose, He also knew that my ex called her "Slasher".

Now I have tried to explain Iam worried about my children saying if I had an ex boyfriend who slashed my face and for 11 years had said he was evil, vicious and spiteful would he be happy with his grandchildren having contact with this man,he say's he will not comment and that she was drunk when she did it and was young in her late teens.

My ex has now changed his story also his best friend who was a witness, they now say it was an accident , but even his best friend has always told she did it on purpose and she was a spoilt , vicious piece of work !

The only person who shares my concerns is my ex 's step mother she understands my worries and would be concerned if she was in the same situation, but she is a mother isn't she

[ojread2]

Morning vway

Whilst I am in no way condoning what this girl did nor am I saying you are wring to be worried, you are, but what this girl did happened 11 years ago when she was just 18 years old. People can change especially from age 18 to 31.

Do we really have to hold everything we did as a young person against ourselves or would we expect people to accept us for who we are now? The latter, of course.

It will be difficult but I feel that for the sake of the children be friend this girl, after all she will be having contact with your children. Let her know that sometimes your children can be difficult and may act up because of the situation they have been out in.

Try not to bad mouth either your ex or her in front of them, it will do no good for any of you.

I wish you luck and I hope this girl has indeed changed her life from what she was as an 18 year old teenager to the adult she is today

[vway]

Thanks for your comment's ojread2, but slashing someones face with a glass is a serious issue what ever age, and yes people may change with age but Iam not willing to find out, by putting my children at risk when she has to much to drink or cannnot cope with my childrens needs.

[beverleymot]

vway its prob ebst if you just go to court- no court in this land would stop him seeing the child but if you're not happy with the situation they wont just hand the children over either. they will prob let him see the children without her present at a drop in centre ( church or somewhere like that) where he can see the kids 2 hrs a fortnight and its supervised. not ideal for your children to be seeing him under these circumstances but at least they would still have contact with their dad and you can feel safe in the knowledge that she is not having any contact.