Lack of confidence

[Soph20]

I am 20 and lack confidence. How can I get some and quick? People say I will get more confident with age but I feel I should be more confident now. Like in my work as administrator I am sometimes too self concious to phone people and this stops me getting my work done.
I have been doing this job for 4 years and don't feel like I have gained much confidence at all. Anyone else in the same boat or can anyone reassure me. Many thanks

[figure]

Do you truly know and understand what is meant by confidence? It is not something you get.

Confidence is developed by positive thinking and believing in yourself. Having a good attitude, being able to think for yourself, not piggybacking off of others.

[4getmenot]

So am I, I dont mean Norfolk is a country its a county they are different. Like Bristol is Bristol County

[4getmenot]

Basically you're about 4hrs away :-)

[muppeteer]

hi soph. im 28 & an insurance broker. i have to call people out of the blue to try & sell them things & also have to follow scripts. i have done this for 12 years & still dont like it. part of the problem is the repetetive stuff- i just feel stupid following a script.......so i dont. find little ways to deviate from the usual thing you say- even slightly re-wording what you are saying so you sound more conversational. you dont need to feel self conconcious having a conversation with your customer, because you dont need to talk about yourself. chat about what they are saying & ask them questions- you will find most people like talking about themselves & it builds a rapport & will probably get you good results on whatever calls you do. finally about other people listening in- they are probably more concerned with what they are doing than to listen to you anyway. i would imagine you know your job pretty well by now, so dont be embarrased- you are just doing your job same as them.
on an office night out last year- i was sitting down as usual while everyone else was dancing & my friend was telling me about mum in law passing away & she said you just dont realise how short life is. this has stayed with me & i no longer waste time sitting at the edge of life- just get stuck in & enjoy- you might have to fake it a bit at first, but losing your inhabitions sort of grows on you (even if you dance like a beaver with worms as i do!)
last thing i would say is try out a budhist meditation class (library will prob have some details) as they teach you how to make yourself & others happier & confidence definately comes with that
best of luck x

[muppeteer]

just an after thought- try this.....
out of the blue when you are all sitting there (when boss is not near) declare- ''i'm bored- lets make this more interesting- try to get the name of a song/singer/band into your conversation with customer without them noticing- person who gets the most in an hour wins a pound!''
you will all be listening into each other- but for a laugh & it takes the focus away from everything else you say

[Soph20]

Thanks so much muppeteer, I will try doing what you say and mixing it up a bit xxx

[mormess]

Hi again Soph, and sorry for the delay. I was replying to your other post and thought I'd check back to this one!

I'm Managing Director of a recording studio. I started it with my partner (love of my life!) over two years ago. I never wanted to be a salesperson but we have the bills to pay and a company to run, so if I don't get on the phone nothing will happen! My partner and I often argue about making phone calls!

I have to call people to follow up leads, phone clients, resolve problems, invite people to events. I'm getting support from a brilliant sales consultant.

I also get calls from sales people. The ones I want to hang up on are the ones who don't seem interested in me. I think why would they call me if they're not interested in me? But of course they're not. But they could at least pretend!

I often avoid phone calls by sending emails. But then people often don't reply or delete them, and you have to wait ages for a reply. So phoning them is much better and you have a chance to chat too.

I spent two years as a software review editor and recruited writers and dealt with them entirely by email. Eventually I did speak to one of them and it was like a whole new relationship had begun!

Be strong Soph, and good luck!